Search Results: how to spend your last night out

Hi Ben. I have been reflecting lately on our recent conversations and realize that I still have feelings for you (even though it's hard for me to put my heart out on the line and tell you). I want you to know that I'm ok with the distance in a relationship because I'm a very independent woman. I would have a really hard time being just friends at this point. Please let me know where you stand. :). If you're going to text me flirty/dirty things, you better follow through with it! Lol... I'd be game... wink, wink.

Little back story... In April 2014 I meet this great guy. We dated until the beginning of October 2014. Because of Ben's job (new pilot for a company that is bouncing him all over the country) it made it difficult to see each other. But we talked, FaceTime, and texted. But I started listening to my friends and became kind of frustrated with the situation. So one day I asked him " I know work is crazy right now. But I just want to make sure your still having fun in this relationship and it's still what you want to be doing?"

His response was... Things here are crazy. I have enjoyed getting to know you but I'd be lying if I said that I'd be able to spend any significant amount of time with you in the near future. I certainly didn't think this year/job was going to be this hectic and time consuming but it is. I don't think it would be healthy for either of us if we pursued this relationship beyond being friends. I realize this isn't news you would want to wake up to but it's an honest self assessment from my perspective. This last week has had me flying throughout the night so I apologize if my grammatical structure is frayed. I apologize if I've disappointed you but I think its best for both of us.
Then on Thanksgiving I texted him. Happy Thanks etc. He responded promptly. Then two weeks went by and I noticed he was matched on my new harmony account. So curious I looked and two days later I received a text from him. Are you stalking me on eharmony

We've been on and off for a while. I don't think he ever quite recovered from his first relationship that lasted nearly his entire young adult life, beginning when he was just 14 and ending in his early twenties. even though it's been a while, I think he is emotionally spent, like he just doesn't want to go there, doesn't want feelings, wants a "stress free" life and says I "stress him out" with relationship questions. this second time around I though things would be different because we both know why it ended before, we weren't official and he got jealous. He said some mean things about it, nothing outright insulting because he makes an effort to be a kind and caring person. after a long while of not talking again (told him not to) late night calls from in started coming in and increasing. I missed him and I thought he knew things had to be different this time or the same exact thing would happen. which it has, he can not commit, he keeps me at a distance. I ask for compromise but he says any compromise means relationship, which he can't do, with anyone. I was so surprised that he thought he could do this again, I told him I can't, he mean mean, cold, even though I was crying, and asking him to compromise and he told me "you've made your decision what is there to compromise." I told him to never call me again, I know from the past that that hurts him, the first time I said it he begged me not to. when I broke it off last night he acted cold, distant, and cruel in tone. Even beside all of this I've never had a better time with anyone and aside from this he was always so caring of me, attending things important to me, being there when I needed him. we know everything about each other. I still love him, but I can't be with some one who keeps me at a distance on purpose. I again told him not to call, but will he? could it ever be different?