Search Results: dating rules relationships

This whole dating rules thing has got to get sorted out... I for one hate the idea of people being forced into things just because of their gender, I like being who I am, not what society tells me to be, the idea of the guy always paying... just makes me feel uncomfortable because relationships are a deep emotional thing!

The idea that so many girls are spoiled and demand so much makes me feel ashamed to be one, in fact when I'm around guys (I have a lot of guy friends)

I like splitting but I think what people should expect is *the one who asks pays* but its good for the other person to offer to split as well, but nevertheless its only fair, and I don't feel guilty and uncomfortable that way, afterward I think it should always be split except on special occasions like birthdays

I've seen a lot of guys who have no self-respect too, who actually SPREAD the discrimination against themselves... seriously though, who is in charge of putting things like these into peoples' brains?

I might sound like I'm acting against my own gender here... and maybe I am, but its for a good cause! Because relationships can be emotional, and really make you feel great, but only if they're fair!

Now my question here is if the girl asks the guy out, who do you expect to pay? Now think about it for a minute:

- Saying "its only nice/shows respect/its what a gentleman would do" is ONE-SIDED, if you use your brain you'll realize that

- She asked you out, so she should be making the impression, and not expect you to do all the work

- The point is to get to know each other, paying shouldn't be such a big deal

- Its unfair on the guy, especially if he makes the same or less amount of money

I've asked a few guys out before and I fully expected to pay, because why did I ask them out? Because I had a crush on them and I wanted them to like me back, and expecting him to pay would NOT get him to like me it would probably (definitely if the guy has self respect) get him angry!

When I picture my relationship and ones like it in my head, it gives me a warm hearted and cozy feeling of two people being close

But when I picture a traditional relationship... it doesn't trigger any feelings at all to me!

But my point here is;

Girls: Do something to make him feel special too

Guys: Have self respect, don't let her use you for money and if she asks you out and expects you to pay, well... girls, what would you do? I bet you'd be angry! I try to see these things from a guy's point of view and they don't seem fair at all

There's probably so many questions I could ask... but I'll ask "If a girl asks a guy out, who do you expect to pay?" since that's usually where the girl would be the first person expected to make the impression so I'll ask for your opinion on that

Also girls, what would you think if the guy didn't pay?

Please don't troll!

The whole idea that human beings are always treated like this... it just makes me sad

Here's what I mean by dating rules:

The guy asks the girl out, chooses where to go, goes to her house and picks her up and takes her to the place then all this chivalry stuff then he has to pay for everything (that's really unfair to the guy...) then takes her home and well you get what I mean

I don't like dating rules not only are they too complicated but they have all these stupid gender roles and stereotypes

The rules say a girl can't ask a guy out - that's not good for anyone because it restricts the girl and puts pressure on the guy - actually where I live girls ask guys out all the time lol, but its different depending on where you live

The picking up thing, again its complicated and has gender roles, there are no "rules" on how you meet with a friend, so why a date?

The guy has to do all this holding doors open and stuff - its unfair to the guy and makes the girl feel weak

Then the guy has to pay for it all, that's what I find the most unfair of all, the one who asked should pay or it should be split but expecting the guy to pay just because he's the guy... is just wrong!

If a guy always paid for me... I would feel REALLY uncomfortable, I don't find a relationship where the guy does anything romantic at all, I like doing things for him, and it would be incredibly selfish of me to expect him to do everything! The thought of guys always having to pay makes me feel horrible inside to be honest

Thing is, so many guys let girls get away with that... they don't show any self-respect or believe the one-sided "it shows you care" stuff

And finally the going home... again complicated

Long story short, I don't like normal dating because its complicated and sexist, I prefer just to hang out - its like going out with a friend, I invite him out or he invites me, we decide where to go together, we go there and each pay for our own stuff, just like people who are just friends would

When it comes to paying, getting to the venue, and all that - we consider ourselves people, and so far I don't often get into arguments or anything, so its worked out great!

What do you think of the dating rules?