Search Results: feeling bad when flirting with others

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. Before then, I went through a really bad break up with my ex. I tried to be friends with him or at least be on good terms before my boyfriend and I started. When David (boyfriend) and I started dating, I was still talking to my ex, not romantically but as friends. I admit I did have some feelings but I did not want to date him, those feelings weren't romantic. I admitted to those feelings to David and he left me. While we were on break, he tried to make me jealous by hanging around this new girl at our school who happened to be friends with all of his friends. We get back together, soon after I get news that I'm moving 7 hours away, we stay together. I get insecure about him sitting with his friends because of that girl. Soon, my doctor finds a large tumor, it might be cancer. I have surgery. Fast forward to April, I give my FB password to him, he accuses me of cheating. I don't cheat. He says that using emoticons is cheating, I only use emoticons when the conversation is meaningless and I'm not sure what to say. He says I'm lying. A guy says he misses talking to me and being nice, I say that I miss talking to him too, I don't mean it but I know he won't bother me again. Everyone else, were guys I was friends with years before David and I started. Week later, I drive 7 hours to go to his prom. Everything is great after prom. Weeks later he says he showed my messages to girls at his school and they all "confirm" that I was flirting, he says he can't get over that and that I didn't love hit, and he asks for a break. During break, we still talk and call each other. I showered him with love and affection. The other day he said he can't do this, that he can't trust me, and I get hysterical. After hours of us crying and me asking why, he takes back what he said and we're together again. Next day, he says this was a mistake, repeat of the night before. We're together again. He says he's scared about us not working out.

Hey!
So. I guess I'll set the scene?
There's this guy... He's 16, I'm 17, but he doesn't seem to care about the age difference. I don't care, personally. Anyways, not this past Christmas but the one before, we were at a party. We had been planning the moment. My sister covered our tracks and we snuck outside. It was snowing, he was warm. This was basically the most romantic moment of my life. So... When he went in for the kiss, I dodged. It was really embarrassing because I didn't really do it on purpose. It just happened? And I felt so bad. Even now my tummy twists thinking about it. Ahh poor baby...
So, basically I want to know if I should ask him to kiss me again. I know that he had feelings for me for a long time, and every time now that it seems like I'm flirting or making a move he gets excited. Haha Uh so yeah.
The last time we were together was at church and I showed him a back door for sneaking out. He got all flirty and all "Nice job Hannah." We had just been standing in a pitch dark room and he was holding my waist because I was walking towards the door. (I'm more familiar with the building layout than he is)
Sorry for the long story, I just want you guys to understand how we are. We're pretty blunt with each other. I'm thinking I would say "I really need your help with something." And then I guide him out the backdoor in my sneaky way (he kind of thinks I'm like a sexy temptress, which is totally bull), and then I ask if he's up for it. Like "Can you teach me how to kiss?" I kind of know he'd be all over that, but I guess I just want to check with real people first.

Would that totally freak you out? He's kind of the playerish type, he's kissed a lot of girls, and he does whatever I tell him. Which I feel bad about and I don't usually use to my advantage. Should I go for it?

Also, I'm not trying to say in any way that I have power over him or that I'm like super attractive or anything. I'm just explaining the situation.

Thank you!