Search Results: boyfriend needs alone time

I have a 9 year old from a previous relationship. We have been together for 3yrs. We live together. We knew each other for a yr before we got in a relationship. Over the past three years I've noticed the following. I do all the chores. Indoor & out. He has asthma so I offered to help outside more. Now I'm doing it all. Inside I care for the pets, my son & any other chores. When I have asked for help his answer was "I need a list." I made a list he never follows it. So I made a chore chart. My son, being nine is now helping more, but a majority is still all me. Now my boyfriend works & is a full time student. I also work full time but I'm about to start school. Still, when I ask for help I get playful no or ok. Later he gets upset about how he has so much HW work to do. So, I end up doing everything & not even ask for help. On another note we don't do date nights, we don't cuddle & I can't tell you the last time we were intimate. His mother is visiting right now & he's a whole different person! Asking what I want to do, doing dishes, spending time with my son. He's a good person. I still feel like its a bad relationship. Everytime I Express how I feel about our relationship he says he understands but also says I'm probably going through a phase or I'm just a little stressed & it will pass. It makes me feel belittled. Last month I saw a huge red flag. We talk about the future a lot. I mentioned that I may not want kids because it was so difficult being a single parent & if our relationship stays the way it is, that's how it would be. Me working, schooling & raising our kids alone while he does what he's been doing. He got a little mad and said "well when we have kids they won't act like this (indicating my son) & be 100% obedient & I'll be with you so it will be better." Alarms sounded in my mind. So my plan is stop doing all the chores for him for a yr. See how he reacts & if it's not solved leave at the end of next year.