Search Results: love or lust

Hi everyone,

I talk quite often with a guy (19) who was sort of a sexfriend a year ago. I truly love him, not just a crush or lust. Things to know : he often tries to make me jealous, he's completely attracted by me, I suspect him to like me more than he says, it's been a year we hang around each other, and he's the confident-proud guy, wants to have control of everything and he's afraid of commitment.

While we were talking last day, he was flirting with me a lot, and we had a stupid talk about regular sex and official relationships. He told me "find a boyfriend" and suddenly with no reason "and you know he's not me".
It's not the first time he says things like that, with absolutely no reason, like "I don't have feelings" etc, I've never speak about being official with him though, he doesn't even know my feelings for him, but obviously he thought about "us" many times.

Why does he do that? Trying to convince himself he doesn't like me? To push me away?

How can I persuade him to let me a chance to build something with him?

(For more details, I've ever talked about my story with this guy in older posts, I might seem annoying with that, sorry) Don't tell me to move on, that's not going to answer my questions. Thanks a lot for your help !

OK so I matched on tinder with him THREE times. I deleted it twice though but not before we added each other on IG.

We chatted on and off and after a few months of very fleeting conversation we decided to hook up. He wasn't looking for anything serious, neither was I. We exchanged pics before and we were both interested in meeting.

After hooking up he kind got flaky and ghosted me despite everything appearing cool. I thought we'd hook up again and he gave me vibes he'd be open to some no strings attached fun.

But then he started to get REALLY slow with his replies after being quite prompt with his texts.

I got fed up of the lack of clear communication so asked should I bother texting in future after he rejected a hook up a few days after our last one. He replied "yeah, it's up to you". Like, I'd love a straight answer.

Anyway, I moved on from him and downloaded tinder for the 3rd time after deciding not to bother with this guy and low n behold, who do I see? Him. I swipe for him and the next day we're matched. Neither of us have texted but he looks at my IG stories and he's swiped for me on tinder.

What's his deal? I just wanted it to be simple and fun but he has me going crazy with the ghosting then matching on tinder. Like, there's no relationship here I know, it's just lust but why is it so confusing?