Search Results: kissing a lot of people

I am, and I'm not afraid to admit it, because it's the pure truth.

My whole life, I've never had any talent, and have never been willing to improve. I've noticed a certain pattern with me: I'm somewhat good for a beginner at something (sports, video games, drawing, cooking, etc), I overpraise myself for small acheivements, then someone who's actually decent comes and wipes the floor with me, and I prefer to cry and insult my opponent and quit rather than practice to better myself.

And my attitude is disgusting, too. I literally have no care or remorse for anyone around me. I only get worried when it affects me. Like if my boss died, my pay would then probably be delayed. But if it doesn't affect me, I don't care if my co-worker's grandma or whatever just died. I'd be lying if I said I did.

I also get into fights a lot because I'm very blunt and dramatic, but always get beaten because I'm physically weaker and almost never exercise. For example, I had went up to a guy at my school, pushed him, and said, "You should be kissing my ass right now, you retarded son of a bitch! I did all the work on the project for Mr. Smith's class, while you and that other guy didn't do shit, and still got a fucking A plus!" And then I go for a punch, and it hits, but then he hits me back even harder in succession till I finally fall to the ground.

But despite all this and being unwilling to change, I'm not proud of it, and am very well aware I'm far from a good person. I also do not admire people with similar attitudes to myself.

I overall act this because I'm unwilling to practice a lot and work hard to get good at something, because I want to appear tough so I just insult people instead of accepting my loss, because I don't care about anyone unless their misfortune affects me, and I like to point people out on their bullshit, like with people on projects who leave me to do all the work by myself.