Search Results: dont want to be alone

My friends keep saying “you need to be alone for a while... for months.” My (ex) boyfriend says “we both need to be alone a while. Im focused on my car and school and my video games. If we get back together, by or before summer, then ok, but right now its just a maybe.” But i dont like being alone. I love him. Yea he wasn't the best boyfriend and ny friends say i sound like a battered wife by wanting to go back to him, but he has my heart. I can't even revert to 2016 me who didn't mind sexting randoms (not nudes) just to keep myself occupied. Yea i know i need to focus on me, but its nothing about me i care to focus on aside from maybe getting back into the gym and learning how to drive. Im just annoyed. Im afraid that if he goes months without me, someone may come along for either me or him. Im also afraid that if i turn that someone down, it would be a mistake. But i wanna believe my (ex) boyfriend and i are meant to be. My friends say cut all contact but i can't. I loved talking to him daily for the last 2 years. We even sleep together by the phone. He says we can talk occasionally but thatbwe shouldn't do that “couples” thing and sleep on the phone. Im opposite. I dont have to talk to him throughout the day. I just need him next to me at night (by phone). He keeps saying im seeing this as more of a break then a breakup. And maybe i am. I dont want him to hurt my feelings but by him saying “maybe” we’ll get back together one day, its making me not wanna move on at all. Cause im hanging on to that 50/50 chance. Yea he kinda wasted 2 years of my life with this breakup but i would feel like it wasn't wasted if we got back together this year. Thing is, im only allowing myself to wait til this May. But I don't know what to do. Im not desperate. I know i can get somebody. But thing is, i want him... #FeelFreeToList #HopelessRomantic