Search Results: hate playing games

Here's a list of signs:
• He stares into my eyes (sometimes 3-5 seconds)
• We hugged like 12 times
• Before we were friends and hated him, he kept on teasing
• We high five quite a lot of times
• He said "Don't be harsh" to his best friend because his best friend told me to shut up (and I didn't even say anything)
• He loved his birthday gifts I gave him and he kept on talking about it and and still has it in his house
• He randomly came to me and put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes for 3-5 seconds
• Also one of his birthday gift was a hug from me. When we hugged, it was like 5-10 seconds and it was almost a proper long hug
• When I was in Year 9 I had a geography class in the computer room, and I arrived in the room then my crush said to me:
Hey! Sit next to me!
And I said "No!". Then he gave me a kissy face and kissy noise (I hated him at that time and before we were friends)
• He was scratching his chair to annoy the girl classmate and I said to him:
Your still scratching…
Then he stopped scratching and then his face went closer to my face (about 5-7 inches away) and staring into my eyes. And I said "Too close". And I thought he was about to kiss me
• He accidentally grabbed my hand
• My crush's best friend made a fake marriage of me and my crush (hated him at that time) and I was refusing it and my crush was trying to hug me and kiss me
• I asked him to move the table back so I can have space. But before he did that, he looked into my eyes and smiled
• My girl classmate said that she liked my headband and then my crush butted in and said "Yeah it's beautiful". And I said "Thanks"
• In the computer room I was doing work and suddenly someone poked me on my back. And I had a feeling it's my crush
• In my drama class we were playing a game called 'Honey I love you' and he was about to choose someone, then he was facing towards me and looked into my eyes and I thought he's about to say 'Honey I love you' to me, but no

I know I'm not the only one but it is a tad bit weird. I won't get it from being on a rollercoaster or on a long and curvy road but in video games my eyes can't handle so much movement. It won'g happen after a couple of mins on most games that have too much eye movement. One that would get me all the time was Grand Theft Auto, any version of that game. Do you know anyone else like this? I don't care if it sounds weird, I like playing video game or I should say used to but I hate the feeling of dizziness and wanting to throw up after a while.

So, i'm not the most social attention craving person, actually i'm the complete opposite. But lately i have ended up asking myself one question: would anyone ever be interested in me?

I am aware of my huge physical and social flaws, which is not a good thing, cause it makes me so insecure, that i literally cannot go to a window without makeup on, and it takes me 4 hours to get ready for being seen by other people.

I KNOW i'm not over exaggerating, and here is a list of all that is wrong with me:

Physically
- i have a big nose
- dark circles around my eyes (real dark)
- fatty legs (otherwise i'm physically fit)
- too long jaw
- i need glasses
- weird hair
Other
- I have always had problems with my social issues. I am extremely nervous around other people, so i tend to stay away from them.
- I am actually not at all interested in "having friends" and normal stuff.

The Weird Stuff
- I have one real hobby, which is shooting at a gun range.
- I am weirdly interested about psychopathic serial killers :P
- I love brutal "realistic" "Horror"movies like the saw franchise
- I don't really have any moral codes or stuff like that.
- I've been to a lot of psychologists and no one can tell whats wrong with me.
- I'm super pessimistic and realistic at the same time.

Me:
- I listen to punk-rock, pop-punk, rock etc.
- I love to learn random stuff like lock picking
- I'm Finnish, and hating it.
- I cannot think of an ideal job that has no dead bodies, crimes or guns.
- In Finnish scale, i have a pretty high IQ
- I love all animals.
- I play guitar
- I'm really interested about psychology, criminology, and almost everything that ends with -logy.
- I LOVE tv network shows, my favorites are Hannibal, The Blacklist, Dexter and The Mentalist
- Mostly i hand out alone playing video games like Hitman or GTA, or i'm on a computer doing stupid stuff like this.

Well, i just wanted to know if there's still hope for me, i accept criticism.