Search Results: problems in friendship

There's this thing women say along the lines of "state your intentions," there's other ways it's said but it's basically about being up front about what you want.

But the thing is most of the time you don't want only one thing from them -- and I doubt women will only ever want one thing from guys as well.

Like, when I see a girl all I know is that she seems attractive. I know I want to talk to her, everything else is up in the air. Based on our interaction I might want sex or a date or be convinced I want a relationship or I might find they have a personality that deters me from wanting anything other than friendship with them, or I might want all or none of the above depending on what's available and it changes on the fly.

I can't tell you what I want -- not because I'm unsure, but because I want lots of things. I want to have a set of options and then make my decision. I don't see why that would be objectionable. Yet, it seems like girls take issue if you can't tell them exactly "this is what I want" and even if you can they will still take some issue if what you say you want isn't the same as what they want.

I think this is an especially strange thing to demand from someone if you yourself don't have a set thing you can state. But even if you do, I don't think that rendered, "not knowing what you want" to be a problem.