Search Results: relationship status

This convo took place after a few days of silence. This girl and I had a playful/flirty relationship at work until she quit a few weeks back. We've talked a little, but she went silent for a few days after I asked her what (activities) she likes to do. She changed her relationship status before I made these plans; I honestly thought she was single at the time. She didn't mention this other dude at all.

Me: Oh my god, I just read my last message and it makes it sound like I'm trying to set up a date!
Her: Lmaoo Awh stop it!! We know what it is lol you’re weird don’t make it weird ctfu
Me: I just found out that I'm off all week from (work) on my vacation week
Her: Ooooohhhh
Her: You betaaaa
Me: Just chillin happy as hell haha
Me: I def wanna do something if you're down
Her: Yes!!
Me: Friday then?
Her: Bet!

She gave a definite yes to getting together later this week, but I don't know if it's that's a "date" yes, or just a "let's hangout." Or... maybe I'm just mentally impaired and think too much for my own good... who knows?

I'm not currently dating anyone. And many things would have to happen for that to change. There are smaller things like:

My Lifestyle - It's not (observably) destined for financial success, and I'm suffering from anxiety and other medical issues that further hinder my potential. Which of course could be overlooked or helped if I found someone in person that loves me no matter my social or financial status.

My Outcast Mindset - Built-up feelings that I'm not deserving of intimate love. Which could also be overlooked if I find someone in person that expresses that love exact for me.

Then there are big ones are:

My Selectivity - I'm picky as hell when it comes to physical attractiveness! But I'm not unrealistic. I'm just severely limited. But later down the line, what if I were to lose physical attraction to my partner? And what if I can't gain it back? All of those have happened through the years with old crushes I've had. And that kind of makes me not want to get into a relationship since physical attraction holds such a strong influence. But then again, I don't know if that will ever change.

My Views on Monogamy - I wouldn't have a problem staying physically committed if I were in a relationship with someone. That's easy. But mentally faithful? That's another story. I really like the idea of having one partner to be committed & intimate with forever. But I feel like that sounds better on paper. I don't see the gain worth the mental trauma that I'd cause someone by naively getting into a relationship with them when I don't have the core stuff for a successful relationship figured out. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I'd just want a really good friend for life. That way I'm able to (safely) be intimate with anyone I'm sexually attracted to with no strings attached and no feelings hurt.

Photo by "Anton Darius" on Unsplash

DISCLAIMER!! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PART OF DATING WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A PARTNER BEFORE YOU'VE ACTUALLY FOUND SOMEONE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH

Is sometimes feels like we live in an era where you're expected to just give yourself away when dating like a donation, as if what you want doesn't really matter. Always telling other people how their dating standards are wrong. Why do we do this to each other.

The most out of the box dating standard that I have is that I only want to date virgin women (I'm a virgin too). I'm not dating at the moment but I do think about it a lot. I really tried to think otherwise and be more "accepting", but I basically forcing myself to be open to something I truly didn't want. People who were supposed to be my main influence in my youth gave me the wrong perception of sex and dating, the biggest one being my first step dad. I have mental issues and I have crazy delusions and I feel that dating someone who's not a virgin would just lead me down a mental decline and will live a life of depression and insecurity. Here's one of the delusions I would have, this is from my actual journal

So I decided to think about myself and my own happiness and accepted this standard as who I am, but I can't help but think that everyone is giving me angry eyes about it. Am I wrong for this? Let me know below.

I've also noticed that people who do shame people about their standard tend to be hypocrites. The women will say that it's wrong to reject a woman for her sex history but will turn around and say they won't date a conservative and the men will say that it's wrong for women to care about financial status but turn around and say they won't date a girl with small butt and boobs. So your standards are wrong but their's is fully justified, rules for the but not for me.

DATE WHO THE HELL YOU WANT AS LONG AS IT'S LEGAL
CAN WE AGREE WITH THAT?