Search Results: pushing him away

I've had an on and off relationship with this girl for almost 6 years. At first we were childish and immature about things. But we had a great relationship but she broke us up for religious differences.
She ignored some messages from me, and then a year later we had a conversation where she criticized me for not reaching out and hurting her, and said she never wanted to hear or see me anymore.
Roughly 7 months later, she reached out to me, and said she felt the holy spirit tell her to contact me. Within a few weeks, we got back together but she moved back with her parents because she decided to go on a mission.
She spent two weeks with me later before she left, and she said she deeply regretted breaking us up and she said I made her feel so happy and loved and she said I had become her home.
She acted really stupid and immature about things when she left for her mission, and she was so consumed with herself, she didn't care about how I felt and ended things because I was 'being difficult'
We had a conversation halfway through her mission and it didn't change anything. Then I reached out to her before she came home, nothing
I confronted her a few months ago and she said not only couldn't we be together because of the religious things, she said she didn't want to go through with things again. She said she wasn't actually happy, that I contacted her too much on her mission ( I contacted her twice) and she brought up the things I did when we first dated when we were 16 and 17.
She didn't acknowledge all of the things she did and felt she did nothing wrong by pushing me away before and during her mission.
We've gone through this cycle so many times. I don't know what to believe. She said before she wanted to marry me. When was she lying?