Search Results: wanting more committment

I met a man online about 6 months ago. I knew I would want to become more than friends but agreed to be only friends which worked for a while. We both developed feelings for each other. He drove from WI to visit me in VA this summer. The first night nothing happened but the feelings were there.The 2nd &3rd night we spend cuddling and kissing. We talked about everything from the very start & both agreed that we were becoming more than friends. Before he left in July I told him that I loved him when we hugged & kissed goodbye. He did not respond in kind but I accepted that. We continued to talk & his indecisiveness nearly drove me away from him. I know that I love him in every way!

Despite my best efforts to protect my heart I have remained in this relationship. We determined that we do have a "relationship"( His words not mine) I have asked him how can you have a relationship without a committment? He has since told me several times that he "DOES" love me that he "DOES NOT" want anyonelse. He knows we share something very rare- we have become nearly best friends, talk about everything, yet so attracted to each other & very much in love.

I could not wait to see him again so I flew up to WI over the Labor Day wknd. We still have not have intercourse but we have come close. I have made him aware that I want to marry him someday. In the beginning he used to tell me he thought I had an agenda which offended me. Sure I wanted that back them as well but I made me sound calculating and manipulative. I have always been honest with my feelings for him.

The trip was beautiful & we did grow closer. He was very shy regarding PDA but he held me close wherever we went & kissed me in every romantic place we visited, the Botanic Gardens, the zoo, Aquarium:)- I spent the trip on cloud nine. We ate in my fav restaurant. He held me close and squeezed me every night . Leaving him at the airport I naturally told him I love him and he responded " I love you"! He held me as if he didn't want to let me go. I cried so much before my plane every took off. He told me to call when I got to the next airport & every time he asked me a million ?'s I could tell he missed me too.

Since I have been home he still seems to miss me but two nights ago his uncertainly returned. He stated that he wasn't ready to committ? I was astonished & crying but attempted to supress my tears. I bit my lip until he mentioned that I was not what he orginally asked for in his profile. Then I cried aloud , I told him that I would never meet that description & we didn't have a chance. He denied it but I kept up a strong argument & he began to cry too. I love him & remain patient he has "never" had a relationship. We are both close to 40 y/o! I don't play games & feel he is sincere. He said that he needed more time, that he doesn't want to let me go but can't honestly commit to me yet. He says that he believes we can be together for life but he has to be sure. Just can't understand