Search Results: people time to realize they love someone

Why can't any girl like me? I'm so sick of this, always getting rejected, always seeing happy couples, while I'm alone. I was under the impression that I was attractive, guess I'm just a hideous loser. Even girls I think could possibly have feelings for me just see me as a friend, like this one girl I loved (when I realized I'm nothing to her that love became hatred) she was kind, actually seemed to care about me, but, of course, I wasn't good enough, I'm just filth. I hate myself and truly despise my existence, in fact, if I could go back in time, I would kill myself on the day I was born. I never even asked to be born, I'm completely alone, I don't even think my friends really care about me, they just pretend, they're just using me I have no friends, I can't trust them, I hate them. God, what's wrong with me, why am I so fucking unlovable? I try to be kind, I really do, I know I'm not the best person, but, I've seen worse people get girlfriends. I hate high school so much, and, I hate myself too, I hate being black, I hate going to a mostly white school, I hate that not a single girl could even fucking notice me because I'm invisible. What do I have to do to be noticed? Do I have to just climb up the Brooklyn Bridge and end my life there, will that make people care about me, would that make me visible, I would kill myself if it means someone cares about me, if briefly. Everything is so awful, I'm so sick of being alone and invisible.

I have been boyfriend of this girl for like 7 months and I love her a lot, but truth is she lives in another continent and it's impossible to even see her someday soon. Sometimes, I feel the need to kiss someone, but I can't. Don't misunderstand me, I'm really happy with her, since I love her, but there's the other part... I sometimes envy other couples because they can kiss each other, and I can't kiss my girl. Besides, though I know she would probably not get to know if I did, I don't try to date other girls because it feels like cheating. Sometimes I think "I should try to steal just a kiss from someone" but then I come back to Earth and remember I have to be loyal.

The thing is I am fine now, but I feel I need to kiss someone, but at the same time I love her so much I can't leave her. She have told me she would never be able to go back to friends for the immense love she feels towards me. She loves me like crazy, you people wouldn't realize how much. I also love her like crazy, but to be frank, I can't even kiss her, not to speak about the other needs! So sometimes I ask myself about the future, and what would be better to do. I knew I shouldn't have fell in love online... But you don't control love.

Anyway, what would you guys and girls recommend me? By the way, I'm at the early 20s. Please help.