Search Results: is he relieved to have broken up with me

I spoke to a friend of mine earlier this week, and he told me he and his wife had separated.

I was pretty sad to hear about this, as I like his wife a lot, and it got me thinking I'm very rarely relieved to see my friends' relationships break down.

Sometimes, you can tell people are in a toxic relationship, and although it's never a joyous time when a relationship ends, you can see it's for the best.

Most of the time, however, it seems to be a shame, in my experience.

How about you?

I think it's pretty obvious that it is normal for the person who decided to end things to feel relief for an amount of time before the sadness and missing relationship kicks in. Especially in a situation where you felt overwhelmed and smothered, like the relationship was suffocating you. So once you finally end it, which was something you had been debating for a while, it feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I don't really think you know how you truly feel about it all, the breakup/the person you broke up with, until that relief eventually subsides or significantly lessens. The relief won't begin to fade until you actually cut contact with that person (it could even if still in contact but at a much slower rate). If you stay in contact with them, you don't have the chance to miss them and the good times/qualities as they're still in your life providing that emotional support, basically helping you get through the breakup in a way.

My ex is trying to tell me that post-breakup relief isn't normal and if you have it at all, it means you ultimately made the right decision regardless. She says that normally after a breakup you should be messed up/sad if made wrong decision, and want them back. But since she didn't experience that (it's been 2.5 months lol and we haven't gone more than 3 or 4 days without talking) she thinks she did the right thing and that's why she is relieved. She basically doesn't believe the relief will ever wear off. That honestly baffles me, not because I want the relationship back but just because it just seems like common sense lol. Especially if you date someone for two years haha, you're going to eventually feel sad and miss them. Also, her saying she hasn't felt sad is bs. Literally since the day we broke up she would find reasons to contact me about every other day when I wanted space. Now we talk more often but she still is the one who seems to miss me more than I miss her.

Anyways, I want to hear other opinions.