Why is it that the meaning of my whole life is to get more and more attention from males?

Anonymous
But I realised that since I was 15, I pay way too much attention to receive enough attention from males. I only feel good if enough men stare at me on the street and if I receive enough positive feedback from stranger men. The only way I can feel that I am a woman is when men let me know that I am wanted. So to achieve this I always wear high heels and short skirts. I am totally addicted to attention. The problem is that I'd prefer a serious relationship but due to my way of dressing usually guys do not take me seriously and only want sex. But if I dressed like other girls do in an average way, no men would ever notice me because I am not special and I am completely average.
What's more I noticed I use sex as a tool to get attention as well. Honestly I don't like sex because it feels bad and hurts. But I always initiated sex with my ex to get his attention. There was no other way for me to make him pay attention to me anway. And after our break up I got involved in a one night stand. The sex felt bad with him as well, but I wanted his attention so my desire was satisfied. The problem is that I know that what I am doing is wrong. I want and try to stop it, but I can't. And I am afraid I won't be able to resist the urge to have a one night stand if I have the chance. But I may regret it after. My mom says I shouldn't be doing one night stands because it will be bad for my soul. But she does the same thing (she isn't married) and I thought I could do it too, but I was wrong.
Please help me get rid of my desperate desire for attention! What can I do? Any ideas?
And sorry for my English
Why is it that the meaning of my whole life is to get more and more attention from males?
3
0
Add Opinion