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I turn 21 on the 12th
49.media.tumblr.com/.../...55SRmJ1s9yzj5o1_500.gif^^ specifically, a 20-year-old talking about "the older I get..." lmfao whatttttBut, hmm. You are making me sad. I like fuckin'. I have a long and colorful history of it myself, too. You know what I have to say about regrets?... Fuck those, too.I mean, even if you do stuff from the wrong place. Live and learn, right?cdn3.gurl.com/.../...pwtfsz4W91r095e7o1_r3_500.gifJust don't do the same stuff, from the same wrong place, twice. <3
@redeyemindtricks 21 year old lol! And everyone gets older. The first year put of high school is really hard. It's a really big change between 18 and 21 esp when you've had a lot of life experience in that little bit of time that a lot of people won't ever have.Maybe regret was the wrong word. But I don't like being thought of as the slut. It gets really old xD i want there to be more to me than just being sexual. Other than that there's only a couole really negative experiences I wish didn't happen.. most were neutral or positive
"But I don't like being thought of as the slut"... Then stop thinking of yourself as a slut. Boom! Problem solved.No, really.Problem solved.I am not being sarcastic, not even a little bit. That shit's all in your head.Sexually, I've always been forward, aggressive, honest, and... well, relentless. Have I always had perfect confidence in every area of my life? Hahah sweet fuck no.But, my sexuality has been a driving force since I was really, really young -- and, for some reason only God will ever understand, I've never let anything taint it with shame or guilt.Even when I struggled with depression so bad that I was ready to leave this fucking world half the time, my sexuality was STILL a sweet, sweet release. Girl, I fucking swear to you, if I'd had yr attitude, I may not have lived past the age of 16 or 17.I can't remember whether I've sent you this link before, but, even if so, here it (contd)
... is again:www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1844182-is-it-possible-to-run-out-of-tearsNotice, even when I'm talking about marinating in the depths of depression and pain and agony... the one thing that's still a get-out-of-jail-free card from all of that is sexual release. (In that particular instance, it's self-stimulation, but that isn't the point -- it's all part of the same big picture.)You learn to LOVE that part of yourself, girl. You love ALL of it. The good history, the bad history, the love, the heartbreak, the good fucks, the bad fucks, the fucked-up fucks, the why-the-fuck-did-I-fuck-that-fucking-fuck fucks... ALL of it.That isn't all of you, but, it's a big part of you, and it channels into yr drive and motivation and love for the rest of everything in life.I'm serious. When you cut out this "I'm a slut" bullshit, the rest of yr life will absolutely get better, yes it will. Believe me.But, yeah. Cut that shit out.There's only
1 person who thinks yr a slut. I'm talking to her right now. She's wrong.
@redeyemindtricks my friends and even my sisters call me a slut tho. They don't say it judgingly. But maybe I've sort of projected that into their heads without consciously realizing it.I think sex and being sexual can feel really empowering when you feel low on yourself. It def did for me. But the more confident I get the more I want to be thought if as a whole package.. smart and sexy. Not just a stupid slut, which is how I used to marker myself.I still do enjoy sex tho, for sure. I like men, I like being around men. It's fucked up we live in a society that categorizes you a certain way if you're a sexual woman.But I do think... and don't hit me lol... the more I grow into adulthood, the more sex starts to feel like something intimate I want to share with someone special. But maybe I wouldn't feel that way as much if I didn't have someone special in mind xDI really love your confidence tho! You know who you are and you like who you are.
"I think sex and being sexual can feel really empowering when you feel low on yourself."Hmm, I found this comment interesting, because I think you have it backwards, or at least semi-backwards. Hear me out here.In my experience,• When yr down on yourself, sexuality can push you all the way EITHER way. It can be yr redemption -- or yr destruction.• When yr high on life... it'll just make you higher.I think the best way to explain this is with an analogy (you know how much I love analogies, lol). Think about ballroom dancing. The man is the "lead" and the woman "follows", but, we all know it isn't that black-and-white -- good dancing is a coordinated effort by both partners.Sex with a man WHEN WE'RE DOWN ON OURSELVES is like just letting go and letting ourselves be led around a ballroom.If our partner is amazing, and intuitive, and empathetic, then this can do wonders for our ability to dance -- and for us overall. If our partner is inept or
brutish, on the other hand, well, that could just take an existing insecurity/issue/feeling of worthlessness and exacerbate it. ("I'm just in the way..." Omg fuck, I felt this way once, it was the worst feeling in the world.)Could go either way.You get me.On the other way, sex with a man WHEN WE ALREADY LOVE OURSELVES... is like ballroom dancing when we're already Ginger Rogers.In that case... I mean, yeah, there are talented male dancers, sure... but, we all know who the star of the show is. <3And even the most talented male dancer is still lucky to be her partner -- and is still outshined by every one of her little flourishes and pirouettes and other little things that she adds into her routine.s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...037d62f94b.jpgIn that case, even though we're dancing (contd)
literally backwards, and probably can't even see what's behind us, it doesn't matter at all -- WE are the ones who own the fucking night, and the show, and the rhythm. The man is moving forward, but, he sees exactly one thing, and that's the overwhelming beauty of his female partner -- who's not only matching him step-for-step, but she's damn well doing it backwards, too. And adding flourishes. Take THAT, dude.<3Fuck yeah.There's yr analogy.I mean, once you Have It Together in the rest of yr life... I'm really not seeing how yr sexuality, or yr sexual history, could possibly detract from that -- any more than a dancer would care who's danced with you before.I mean, my husband actually *likes* being compared to other men. He knows he'll just blow them away.