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Women and the idea of "taking your time" with the guys you really like?

All the time I'm finding women who say when they find someone they like and want to have a long term relationship with they "want to take their time" and not have sexual relations with that person but advocate spontaneous and meaningless sex with guys they just "want". What I'm trying to understand is why the guy you don't want gets laid for free while the guy you "want" has to work his ass off just to get some attention. Honestly, if I was back on the dating scene looking for a partner, this would be an instant red flag and I wouldn't keep pursuing a relationship with that chick. I would start looking for a replacement immediately when this knowledge came to light.
Women and the idea of "taking your time" with the guys you really like?
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