What are the signs a guy just wants to sleep with you?

What are the signs a guy just wants to sleep with you through text? I've been talking to this guy for a month now on an app and I can't tell if he is interested in me as a person or just wants to sleep with me so I need help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A guy who is interested in you romantically (and not just sexually) will want to talk about your life, your interests, your future, etc. He's trying to find out if you have compatibility with him for a long-term relationship.

    A guy who just wants sex will always steer the conversation towards sex, and will get bored quickly with other topics (because he's usually not interested).

    It's usually not that hard to figure out which group a guy is in - other guys can usually figure it out pretty quickly.

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    • 7d

      some do that as part of the facade

    • 7d

      True. Nothing is 100%, but someone who doesn't even do that much isn't looking for anything but sex.

    • 6d

      i agree but in my experience it's way more than a few who do this. it doesn't take much effort to feign interest.

Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 31

  • Does he ask or talk to you like he's interested in you as a person? Does he ask or care about anything to do with your life or you in general? Like @thomascale18 says, we all want sex, so you can't make assumptions, but if he's showing interests and asking you things about you and your life, that's a "sign". But if not, don't automatically assume he doesn't want more. You're always taking a risk in any relationship, but just use common sense and your judgement. If all he ever talks about is sex or sexually related things and nothing else, then probably that's all he wants. But don't be afraid to flat out ask him what he wants. Just say you don't want to waste either of your time if you're not looking for the same thing so you want to know.

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    • 7d

      He texts me everyday and he asks me about my day and stuff. He doesn't know what I look like and we've been talking for a month but it doesn't seem to stop him from talking to me. He also plans things with me in advance like vacations and stuff I can tell if he is joking or not. He does talk about sex every now and then but I told
      Him in not interested in that kind of arrangement so I guess I'll have to see if he sticks around

  • How fast does he go from just talking with you to talking about sex and pushing the physical interaction? If sex is all he wants he'll most likely immediately go to sex... the pace he's trying to proceed at will always feel rushed.

    If he just talks to you as a person and takes the time to learn about you and he doesn't always bring sex up than you may have someone who likes you or is very interested in getting to know you.

    Probably the best way to weed out guys who just want sex is to go slow physically. If he is only after sex he'll get tired of waiting for you to be "ready" and move on to find a "fast" and "loose" woman. If he's into you he'll be more than willing to wait for you to be ready to be intimate. Go slow and be wiling to make the guy wait. That's your best chance of finding guys that are into you and avoid guys that just want sex and then will never want to see you again.

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    • 6d

      I totally agree with tou. Seeing how the guy reacts when the girl take things slow shows a lot of what he searches.

  • I often like to just talk sometimes for the sake of talking

    BUT

    this was through a dating app right and guys rarely use dating apps to find friends. If we want to talk to strangers we can do that on hundreds of forums and q and a sights where we actually get responses most of the time so the motivation behind it is almost certainly lust.
    Doesn't mean you couldn't end up with a great relationship but you're almost certainly starting from lust not by bonding over something and you should expect that.

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  • If he is breathing

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  • first of you need to get in contact with the guy personally.
    texting is bullshit.
    if you are afraid carry a knife with you.

    questions to ask yourself on a date:
    where does he take me?
    is he trying to get me drunk?
    does he want to come with me back home?
    does the guy try to find himself in me?

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  • First off all guys want to sleep with you. So you need to know if he's interested in more than just sex.

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    • 7d

      Accidentally pressed send too fast. Try saying that you want to wait till you're married before you have sex either because you're a virgin or because you had a bad experience in the past. See if he's still interested then.

  • it's impossible through text-and no offence oracle-but he could also use that to merely butter her up, too.

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  • It's hard to read a person just through text, you could tell through body language if you met in person, but via text a lot of communication is lost. But if he has been talking to you for a month it is usually a good sign that he is more interested in you

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  • Its hard to interpret the signs.
    Some guys are excessive Kind and making compliments all the time.

    Other just want to meet you All the time at Home and not in public

    We dont know him, you just can try it and in the worst case say you re on your period...

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  • 1.) you find him attractive

    2.) there's just something about him, you feel like, REAL chemistry.

    3.) you can just tell he's not going to pump you and dump you. He would never do that, you can just sense it about him.

    4.) he's just really special. You can't explain.

    5.) he's like, REALLY attractive.

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    • 4d

      I been with an African guy 19 months and he is super shy , which makes me hard to say what I want to say because he's sensitive about stuff but I want to get super serious about us, the subject rarely comes up but he's asked me if I got my passport and I have no money of my own to get one so he went this past spring to Ghana without me and didn't tell me first, so I contacted his ex I found on his fb which is not cool now but was then, she says he told her but not to tell me. To make long story short I hounded him about it when he got back and now I'm hearing he's got another trip planned there & one of his family members told his exes and my guy buddy and my boyfriend who seems very jealous of this guy because he's a great singer and I love his music! He told me, my man told a male family member he's plans to give me an engagement ring but I can't imagine him after all our relationship been based on sex most of time cuz we can't see each other much due to lives too far and his job!

  • Guys that just want sex - flirt a lot, goes keeps touching, keeps texting etc

    Guys that want a relationship - Act shy, don´t force anything, play nice

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  • If he only calls you when he wants to get some

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  • Any woman I just want to fuck will be v a woman that I dont ask sbout her interests etc. Also, I try to hang out with her only at places of residence. lastly, she's on the down low. I dont talk about her much to friends.

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    • 4d

      That's not always true cuz my guy is super shy and he is black and I am white.. he just hates when people stare so he and I stay in my place a couple hours sex , eat pizza and watch TV.. but being romantic is out the window.. Not into cuddling (he's not ) much and he has told his guy family members and one of his exea is so jealous we are still together.. He's not from here but he don't talk about sex or anything really just super quiet though lately he's asked me what I do all day since I currently can't work but he seems genuinely concerned about me and helps me pay for stuff.. But little over a year I am just hearing out of the blue he wants to give me a ring and take me to his country. so I am a bit shocked because I have had a feeling he may break up because hasn't said he loves me or call me to check on me.. ok we both have hot foreplay he is a big tease and I love it , then very passionate with me.. but a friend from his country is giving me signs he's gonna pop the question quick!

    • 4d

      @Ladyshellie1975 I am a black guy that dates white girls. I know where you are coming from. It sucks when people stare. But then again... If I truly loved them I wouldn't care to hold their hand in public or be in public with them. I sense there is some underlying thing going on. It sounds like he is sexually attracted to you but is ambivalent about his romantic feeling toward you. that is my warning. take it or leave it. But if someone loves you, they want to show you off and can't wait for you to meet others. If thats not the case there is something wrong. some reservation. With my last ex the issue I had was that she was 7 years older. she was white but I was worried about how I would look as a man with an older woman. How would they judge a black guy?

  • He's obviously attracted to you if he wants to sleep with you.

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  • If you are planning on screwing him very soon after meeting him, there is no way to tell. The only way to really tell, is to take time to get to know him in person. See how he treats you, see if he stays interested in you even after a little boredom sits in. And see how he treats others and what he finds important. (And I don't mean the flavor of ice cream he likes) Is he patient, kind, thoughtful. The longer he shows those kinds of traits, the more likely he really likes you. If you rush things, he will be in your pants before you really know if he cares about you.

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  • If he introduces you to his parents, then he wants more than just sex.

    Until then, presume he only wants you for sex.

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  • All guys just want sex initially it's when the girl proves herself that she's somewhat cool and girlfriend material that makes us want more. If she doesn't have any of that to offer that's when a guy only wants to be casual

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  • It's the same signs girls show. What signs would you show if you just wanted to sleep with a guy? And that should answer your question!

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  • Meet him in person and see how he acts. That the only way.

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  • I'll go dumb

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  • He wants to sleep with you regardless, it is unrelated to his interest in you as a person.

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  • Focus on sex

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  • A sign that he only wants to sleep with you is if he talks a lot about the big game and 'big fuckin naturals'

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  • Looking at your body

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  • If he has a penis its safe to assume he needs some nookie

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  • Hey do you wanna fuck?

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  • My dick gets erected... That's what I can say

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  • Is the person only talking to you about sex or nudity?

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    • 7d

      No we have regular conversations and he will ask me about my day and what I've done. He texts every day but every now and then he will say something like we will go on holiday together and no one will bother us and then another thing he will give me hints about coming to him apartment

    • 7d

      That means he is not intrested in sleeping with you but he feels comfortable with you

  • when he gets a big fucking hard on down there lol

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  • Its A Difficult Question U Have To Show Ur Chats First To Known How Ur Relationship are
    & Maybe He Is Not Willing To Sleep With You As He Talking To U More Than A Month So It Could Be Good Friendship Or In Rare Case He Is Very Desperate As He Is Not Able To Finds Any Other Girls So He Is Stuck Up With U

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What Girls Said 13

  • There really are no universal signs. Some guys are truly so desperate that they would tell you anything just to get to sleep with you: promise commitment, pretend that they'd want to introduce you to all their friends and family, claim that they have deep feelings for you...
    People will say that he won't try to get to know you on a deeper level and will only flirt/say sexual things but that's simply not true. While some guys might be very obvious with what they want, others will definitely lie straight to your face simply because they're hoping to get laid. So it's not always so obvious.

    I would say, go with your gut feeling. Try not to over-analyze every word he says, but at the same time, if you have a feeling that he's only talking to you in the hopes of getting laid, you might not be far off from the truth.

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  • if most conversations all end in sex and about sex, not who you are as a person... if he senses you are not gonna give in, he will slowly pull away and disappear and go to the next one who will give in.

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  • Well, if you only text and never make plans to go out in public, that's one way.

    Some guys are nice enough to wine and dine the night before or morning after.

    But basically, if he doesn't claim you as anything more than a friend in public, that is a strong indicator.

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  • Firstly, most guys end goal is to sleep with you. But that’s not to say he isn’t also interested in you as a person. Are all the conversations revolving around sex or does he seem to be interested in your life?

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    • 7d

      I guess I’m one of the few not having a set end goal of sleeping with someone lol. Perhaps that’s why nothing has worked out for me? Hahaha 😂

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    • 6d

      @Westy616 we don’t want a guy who lets it be known he’s there purely for sex. But we also don’t like to date a guy who shows no romantic interest.

    • 6d

      Never had the opportunity. I’d put 100% investment into the relationship... so as far as I’m concerned, there would be.

  • hints and and talks about sex a lot.

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  • what are the conversations like?

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    • 7d

      He texts me everyday and we talk about stuff we've done and just have a laugh. But every now and then he says something about sex, I told him
      That I am not into that kind of arrangement

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    • 7d

      He said to me something a few days ago like a hint in other words you're invited to my apartment/bed and I said I'm not interested but before that when I told him I'm not looking for casual sex he kept talking to me and for a month. Also he doesn't push me to meet him

    • 7d

      Honestly there's a good chance he just wants sex

  • A guy who talks to you romantc

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  • When he gets grabby

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  • I think the best way to tell is through body language. Texting is a bit hard to figure out what he wants. If you're face to face with a guy and he's always flirting and being quite touchy, he probably wants sex. If a guy genuinely cares about your day, asks about your goals, future etc. then he's interested.

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  • a lot of ways to know

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  • When they tell you they want bj over text ugh

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  • If all he does is talk about sex and no other aspect of your life

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  • can't tell? Then sleep only... at first.

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