Does anyone else have an ex that just never goes away?

Ok so I dated this guy back in the summer of '10. We didn't mesh well. He was super immature, and grossed out by normal things for example vaginal moisture during foreplay/sex. Anyways here we are eight years later and he has slid into my inbox again. It's always the same pathetic bull. I love you, i miss you, i have grown and want to be with you blah blah blah. I've blocked his number, i have him blocked on all social media and yet he always finds a way to slide back in. He spends as long as necessary trying to convince me that he wants to be with me but if i even pretend to be interested he pulls way back and gets distant. I have expectations of the kind of relationship i want and he says I'm living in a "dream" world that love like that doesn't exist. Which maybe I am but i would rather be alone then settle for anything less. Am I the only one with the boomerang ex? If not how did you get your ex to go away? If they never went away did they ever change? And how do you not go insane by the yoyo?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I sometimes find it's because you haven't given the proper closure is why they will go beyond the blocking. Like if you are pretty clear what you want, whether a relationship of any sort will happen again or not. Then there is also tempering expectations. Like if it's okay to talk, but not at the pace he is pushing like unexpected visits.

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    • I have made it very clear that i don't want him in any fashion. He just never goes away.

      -Do you have some desire to see just how many times it'll take before we kill each other or what. You have friends. Not here.
      -We don't get along. What are you actually after? Because you're always after something. There's the times you claim to need someone to manage your shit there's the times you used me to cheat on the women your with while lying about being with them. You're not a friend.

      -That's because I'd rather murder you

      -Oh you've grown you've changed your regret being young and stupid but for the love of god you're fucking drag racing running from the cops and posting it on mother fucking social media that sounds really fucking grown up and different 😡

      Those are just a couple of the many times I've told him to go.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately the only ex I've really experienced this to the level you're talking about was a crazy stalker so the police kind of handled that for me.
    On occasion I'll hear from random ex's, the normal "how's life?" stuff and that's that sometimes more.
    It doesn't happen now as much but a while back I used to get it more. I've found if you straight up tell them to fuck off and it's not going to happen it usually makes them stop and once or twice I just had to ignore them, eventually they get that no message is a message and go away.
    If I were in your place I'd either tell him, if you're interested, what your expectations are for what you want in a relationship and let him make the next move. If he gets distant and plays games tell him this is the last time you'll have any contact with him. If you're not interested then tell him what you want and tell him he's not proved himself to be a man that can give you that and that you have no interest in hearing from him again. And stick to it! He tries again fucking ignore him.

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    • I'd say the only thing i haven't tried is getting the law involved. His father is a sheriff so i guess i never thought they would do anything. He's literally showed up at my house for not answering him and shown up at my mother's for not answering him. He went as far as to show up at the grocery store and follow me home!

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    • Ehhh yea but that's kind of petty compared to stalking. This sort of thing can escalate and if things did the dad would likely be in some serious shit for not taking things seriously.

    • Thank you!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Why isn't he blocked at all access points?

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    • As i said he is. But he still finds a way. I block his number he gets a new number. I blocked him on all social media he makes new accounts. He has shown up at my home and at my mother's home when he's been unable to get through in other ways.

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    • You can also ask for help from your local battered women's shelter. Most of them assist people in date stalking situations.

    • There isn't one in the village i live in but there's one in the city i work in thirty minutes away I'll give them a call thank you so much

  • No it’s more like haters.. Lol...

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What Girls Said 7

  • I stop talking to my exes when we break up. If they try to come back I ignore them, I broke up with them for a reason. They can’t come back in your life if you don’t let them

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    • I've stopped I've had him blocked i can't stop him from showing up at the grocery and following me home. I can't stop him from showing up at my door. Or my mother's door. I've tried ignoring him. Ignoring his texts and calls just leads to him showing up.

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    • If i don't engage him at the grocery store he follows me home. If i don't answer the door at home he sits and waits on my porch. He has gone as far as to enter through my basement door as my landlord hasn't repaired it from the previous tenants kicking it in. He has shown up at my place of employment knowing i can't leave. He has gone to my mother's and questioned her. His father is a sheriff and i know he's got him out of trouble in the past.

    • Ignoring him only escalates the problem. He's been known to get violent.

  • Yes , tell me about it. It’s just crazy it’s been years and still pop out even I said million times to stay away

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  • He sounds so gross and creepy and just plain ugh. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. He sounds like he's stalking you.

    Have you considered filing a no contact order against him? Might be a pain in the ass, but it would be a deterrent against him. Especially since he could face legal consequences for violating it.

    I am having problems with my ex. He asked my best friend and my mom questions about my new boyfriend after he found out I was moving in with him. Asking how we met, how long we've been together, and what kind of man he is. Then he got all pissy with them when they told him off. Said he still loves me and wants to make sure I'm happy. My mom ripped him a new one and it was hilarious. XD

    Anyways, I digress, I hope you can get him to back off. Especially since he's showing up where you live and following you around.

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    • I hadn't filled for any protection order because his father is a sheriff but someone else mentioned that his dad getting him out of trouble repeatedly over street racing wouldn't measure up to the same consequences as getting him out of trouble for violating some form of protection order. I'll have to look into it thank you!

  • I do I had to “cheat” to get her to leave me alone. I got tired Of her accusing me cheated so I dumped her she wasn’t hearing it or having it. I was with Hook up that got her to leave me alone.

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    • Ugh i wish that would work but he doesn't care if I'm I'm a committed relationship he still blows me up.

    • Can you call police tell them you feel threatened?

    • Someone else mentioned it and i haven't thus far because his father is a sheriff but they're pretty sure if his dad helps him get around something like this he's risking major repercussions so I'll have to give it a shot

  • Thankfully not

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  • I had to quit my job because my ex was stocking when I worked and the company wouldn't do shit about it

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  • I have one too. But he talks to other people through me. I don't even bother anymore.

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