How can I convince my boyfriend he can be more rough with me in bed?

I want to start out by saying i love my boyfriend very much, and we have been together for nearly a year now. he's amazing and treats me like a queen, leaves me notes, gets me gifts and just makes me feel so loved... but in bed he treats me like some sort of priceless vase, like I've told him he can be rougher, but he's scared of hurting me which i do think is sweet but i like it a bit rougher! He also doesn't like initiating sex either, its like he's scared he will do something wrong? He was a virgin before he met me so i understand he's nervous and its still kind of new to him, but i want to build his confidence and just convince him im not made of glass and he isn't going to lose me if he is accidentally too rough. What should i do? Advice appreciated!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd suggest being direct in the moment. Talking with him about what you think you can handle before hand should also ease his mind. If you're not sure make something up that you think you would and go on the gental side so you don't scare him or make him think you don't know what you are talking about (even if you do). For extra piece of mind use a soft safeword or something and use it a couple of times but tell him you pulled the cord early so he gets used to doing it and knows you would stop him if he went overboard.

    Example on 1 to 10 of X thing you think you want 6 and can take 7 if he goes to hard. Tell him you want 2 and you can take 3 and if he hits 2 stop him then say that you think you could go to 4 an repeat until you are both comfortable with whatever.

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    • Also if you want like a slap on the face have him slap your arm as a test then a face slap test. Scientific type thing, nothing sexy about it just for "testing"

Most Helpful Girl

  • Start taking things in your hands slowly. Show him what you like. initiate sex. Be more verbal while having sex encourage him. If he does something different or little bit rough then show him how much you liked it by your reaction

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What Guys Said 10

  • Take the initiative and take control. A lot of guys fucking love a dominant woman. Female led relationships are fantastic when done well :)

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  • Try to get him horny! Find out what turns him on. Play with him! Show him what you like.

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  • Tell him to be more rough with you in bed? Guys are pretty simple. And we like direct language.

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  • You need to take the initiative and get rougher with him.

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  • Withhold sex for a week and wear sexy clothes the entire time. See what happens.

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  • Why dont YOU get rougher with him? maybe he will follow suit.

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  • Tell him to ! Be open and he will

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  • Maybe when he’s on top tell him “harder” or “it feels amazing when you go deeper”, etc. or surprise him with handcuffs and tell him you’ve been naughty and need to be tied up. If you like doggy style or think it’s dominating then maybe wear lingerie and tie your hands to the bed head in the doggy style position before he walks into the room as a surprise?

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  • Use words.

    But I'd decline.

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What Girls Said 0

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