Why can’t he cum?

My guy told me he cannot and hasn’t ever cum when getting a blow job. I have never had an issue making a guy orgasm, but I have learned with him it’s quite difficult. He was single for over a year and masturbated like 2-3 a day. So I’m thinking maybe his dick is just accustomed to that custom feeling? I know that was the case for me. Anyway, why would a man NOT be able to orgasm from a BJ and what should I or he do? It’s a challenge now, for me to make him cum.


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What Guys Said 21

  • I think a year of jerking off several times a day got him use to orgasms by hand. Sometimes a bj takes me a bit longer than a handjob or sex. Have you tried starting with a handjob and getting him close then finishing him off orally? Is he able to orgasm from sex?

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    • 6d

      I think the same thing! I have started out hand job and then blow job. But after a while, either of us stops and jumps the other. He orgasms from sex for sure.

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    • 6d

      He is very lucky to have you as a girlfriend. Hopefully he gives you some great orgasms back!

    • 6d

      I’d like to think he’s lucky, lol. Thank you!

  • Don't worry too much about it. Blowjobs are understandably hard to come through. Mouth is wet and not exactly soft and cushioned inside. Avoid hurting him with your teeth. Use your tongue as much as possible. Also: Your hands. A good blowjob is to a large extent a handjob. But just watch some porn. Find a girl that's super passionate and skilled, and clealy enjoys what she's doing. Learn from observing her.

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    • 6d

      That’s why it bothers me: I’ve always been super skilled!

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    • 6d

      I’ll keep that in mind

    • 6d

      Good luck :)

  • I have the same issue as well. Never came from a bj. Not that it doesn't feel good its just not the same as something you're able to control and what feels good to you.

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    • 6d

      I never thought of it that way I guess. I know personally, I have to make myself let go through oral sex (mind control) , so maybe he can do the same? I don't know if guys have that kind of control.

    • 6d

      I know i get in my head a lot even with regular sex. The more you relax and drink in the moment the better it is. Also, dont assume that just because a guy doesn't cum doesn't mean he's not enjoying it.

    • 6d

      I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.

  • If it helps I've never came from a blowjob either. Sure they feel good, but if you're less sensitive it can be nearly impossible for that alone to push you to orgasm.

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    • 6d

      He told me it feels absolutely great and that I’m really talented. But he told me when we first started dating it’s never happened for him. It bothers me, I need it to happen! Maybe it’s just the way he’s made.

    • 6d

      I'm sure he would appreciate you rising to the challenge, but don't be to let down when it doesn't work out. Because you're right it could just be the way he is made. Then again. Prove us both wrong and push him to that point. Good luck 👍

    • 6d

      That’s my goal: thanks! But he’s happy otherwise, it’s just “my thing”.

  • Well it might not be possible for you to create enough friction and physical stimulation with your mouth
    It depends a fair bit on how sensitive his penis is which varies from person to person and masturbation in men tends to decrease sensitivity
    It is not really a big deal I am sure he finds it very enjoyable nonetheless
    But I guess you can have him abstain entirely for a while then try

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    • 6d

      He doesn’t masturbate, we have sex frequently and he cums when he have sex. He just said (and proved) he doesn’t cum from a BJ.

    • 6d

      Well you said he has masturbated fairly often in the past it will most likely have decreased his penis sensitivity to the point where oral stimulation simply is not intense enough
      If he abstains from masturbation for a long time it might get better or it might not
      It really just boils down to a matter of sensitivity and required amount of stimulation
      It is not really something you can change per see
      If you are really determined you will need to increase the stimulation level... be rougher on it as it were but I don't know seems like that will just start to get a lot of work for you and little fun but that is up to you

    • 6d

      Hmm, I didn’t realize how important the “sensitivity” is. Thanks

  • Maybe he has a block about letting himself go when he's getting a bj. It took me a while before I really believed the girl was cool with me cumming and as a result I think I blocked myself from letting go.

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    • 6d

      I think he has the same issue, yet for different reasons.

  • tell him he isn't allowed to masturbate while you're together because it can desensitise the penis making it harder to cum during sex

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    • 6d

      He says he hasn’t masturbated since we’ve been together.

    • 6d

      hm maybe he just has difficulty with oral then? wish i could help you more tbh

    • 6d

      Thanks for the advice!

  • If he doesn't cum, what's better? Having sex or not?

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  • You aren't making your mouth tight enough, probably.

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    • 6d

      Mmm, I don't know, I doubt it. I’ve never had this issue before. I don't know, we will we

    • 6d

      The downvotes don't make any sense and I assume they're coming from people who have never had their dick in a girl's mouth. Morons.

  • Some are like that. I am. It’s very hard for me to cum that way.

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  • When you find out can you tell me please because I’ve never came during sex!!!

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  • I can't cum from a bj I never have you can just use you hand or sex that always works

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  • Well its not him... I'd think about what your doing wrong

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    • 6d

      Apparently it IS him. I’m not his first anything and he said he’s never been able to cum from/with any woman giving him a BJ.

    • 6d

      Well then maybe has a foreskin just saying if not the guy needs to watch porn with you then he'll know what to feel for

  • Same
    I've found girls I have been with just dont wanna put in the work lol

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    • 6d

      That’s not the case with me. I willing to put in the fucking work.

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    • 6d

      After 30-40 mins yeah

    • 6d

      maybe like me he doesn't wanna waste his shot in your mouth. Not your mouth for me but him you know what I mean.

  • Maybe he used an ejaculation delay cream

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  • He doesn't find you attractive enough

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    • 6d

      What? Men have orgasms with ugly ass women all the time, I’m not that. At all. So your comment (for more than one reason is moot.

    • 6d

      Those men were thinking of a hot woman. Maybe your man doesn't have that ability?

  • Maybe he had a Vasectomy and failed to mention it.

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  • Due , that's means like

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  • Many guys just don't get enough pressure around their dick, to make them cum, when getting a bj.

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  • It's psychological and maybe your not as pretty as he's used to in order to fantasize.

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  • can he go, while penetrating you?

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    • 6d

      Yes, that’s how he cums

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    • 6d

      Wait, a minute, why do i even care if your man can cum or not. I'm not him, nor am i his doctor, BYE

    • 6d

      I assume cause I asked a question and that’s the point of this app? Why are you on here if not to help? Lmao. Thanks anyway.

What Girls Said 5

  • If a guy ever told me he can’t cum from blowjobs, I’d immediately take that as a challenge. Challenge accepted!

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    • 6d

      Me too! Which were my exact words, lmao!!! I told him it WILL happen if it’s the last thing I do.

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    • 6d

      HA! duck butter. you're kinda putting two together with penis taste and cum taste.

    • 6d

      Lmao... well

  • He may be desensitized from master bating so much. It’s the same effect of using a vibrator too long. Have him try abstaining from self pleasure and coital bliss for a few days and try again. The sensitivity should increase.

    My husband has the same issue, but he’s naturally not sensitive.
    The good? Sex can last a long time
    The bad? I’ve only successfully gotten him off once with a BJ, once on top, and twice with a hand job
    The ugly? Sometimes he’s so desperate to come he’s rubbed himself raw on me... or he’ll take care of himself and be out of commission for a couple of days for the same reason.

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    • 6d

      Wow! I agree with what you’re saying. I know I went over a year without sex and was used to my dildo. I had to make myself reprogram when he first gave me oral, so I’m thinking it’s the same thing. He used to masturbate at least twice a day, so that’s why I think he has the block. He said he hasn’t masturbated since we’ve been together (two months) & we haven’t had sex in 2, so I’m hoping I’ll get him to blow this weekend.

    • 6d

      I wish you the best of luck. Don’t be disheartened if he’s one of the few that is actually not sensitive. Bj’s are still fun for foreplay.

  • well i think you should change your way of giving him bj and change the way u both set for it
    browse for some ways and i think you would get benifits

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  • Leave him to have a relationship with his hands, they were meant to be together.

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  • I know just how you feel. It makes you feel hollow inside. When my friends blow him, he cums every time. But never with me.

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    • 6d

      Uhm, quick question: why are your friends blowing him?

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    • 6d

      Oh!!! Ok. Well that’s a bit different. My guy has NEVER cum with anyone, like every. I can see why you would feel horrible. Hopefully y’all will be more intimate and you’ll learn what makes him explode,

    • 6d

      I hope so, because it seems like that's what the guys all like.

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