Attractive men and male audio freak me out. Is this normal?

So ever since I was a kid I've mostly watched lesbian porn anyway. Probably because when I was in pre-k another girl my age got me to lick her "secret spot" in the bathroom turn for pushing me on the swing.

I've psychologically analyzed that due to how I grew up (guys never being attracted to me, not being a conventional girl, being a virgin/never having been on a date at nearly 21...) they make me really anxious. Seeing cute guys naked in porn or hearing sexual audio of men makes me feel awkward + can't handle it for long. Lesbian turns me on more/I feel more allowed to visit it if it makes sense.

Another reason why I dont watch hetero is that admittedly if the guy is cute and the girl is cute I feel jealous/sad and start to think it'll never happen for me. So it turns me off. Even in gay male porn I feel like if they're cute I'm being a creep for watching or that it's weird. I also really like girls at the same time. I like guys too, but mostly chubby guys or daddy/dom types. I can easily watch guys in porn if they're "ugly"

But audio wise I tried to listen to some ddlg stuff and it just brought up a lot of negative connotations for me because I had a long distance "dom" that changed me more and ended up being a liar/tool. Listening to it is hot at first/but also embarrassing. And then I remember again that there's noooo way the guys in the audio things would ever find me cute.

So turn off again and now I don't know what to do with my self. It's 4am and nothing is working for me. I would sleep but i just dont wanna have negative dreams or sleep depressed. Im like 100% sure that if a guy did take inrerest in me it would just be to score or have sex. Or that theyd secretly film me. Or tell their buddies about the ugly girl they scored with. What's wrong with meeeeee is this even normalllll?

Sry that this is all over the place im exhausted and rambly blah

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What Guys Said 5

  • There was an article I read, when the word "dad bod" just entered the pop-culture lexicon.

    There were many girls claiming - some proudly - in fact, that they liked the "Dad bod". Basically the body of any man who drinks a 6-pack on the weekend, does SOME sports or exercise but very minimal, and doesn't really watches what he eats.

    However, when I dug deep into the reason WHY these girls like the "Dad Bod" instead of the normal "Adonis" body type our society deems ideal for men, a lot of them mentioned that they preferred to be with a man who has a "Dad Bod" because - and there's the important part - it won't make them self-conscious about their own bodies. Basically, what they mean is if they shack up with a ripped guy who works out and takes care of his body and whose body its in with the ideal body a man is supposed to have, these women feel insecure and like there's an unspoken pressure for them to have great bodies as well, to match the hard work the man puts into his. Going with a man who has a "Dad Bod" puts no such pressure on them.

    Of course, this is clearly not the reason why all those girls loved "Dad Bods" - there are many other reasons, I'm sure.

    This might or might not be applicable to your situation.

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    • 6d

      This study is honestly super interesting and I can see that being the case for a lot of these girls. I don't think that's my case though. I just like the appeal and the extra places to grab / poke at. I think I like chubby a little more than dad bod. Also it just radiates maturity to me and I get off on age-gaps lol. It has definitely become a popular thing nowadays, but I don't know. When I was a teen I was brainwashed into the emo culture and thought skinny (not avg, but skinny) was the only attractive body type for men. Late high school - now that completely changed and I don't know why. Maybe because of the guy I met. Or maybe I just also like the appeal of raw / natural body forms. I even adore chubby and plus size women so long as it flatters them.

    • 6d

      Yes, I would classify emo/goth as sub-cultures - the body ideals within those sub-cultures are very different from mainstream ones.

  • I will never understand why girls dig "daddy dom" guys, even when they're ugly.

    I'd stick to lesbianism if I were you.

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    • 6d

      LOL this honestly make me giggle a bit. I wish I could stick with lesbianism, trust me. Being attracted to men still feels like my kryptonite.

    • 6d

      Well I'm so glad I'm not a girl so I don't have to deal with that lol

  • Well if it's chubby dad-type guys you like, then look no further! 😉

    Okay, I'll stop...

    Seriously though, it's not exactly abnormal for past experiences to at least influence your sexual preferences.

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  • nothing wrong with you at all. you like what you like and there is no such thing as 'normal' anyway

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    • 6d

      maybe its just the case you prefer real men to a false ideal anyway

  • What about average guys who slept with over 100 women? A lot of my exes found it intimidating which I would think the opposite.

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