How to know if your guy is gay?

the question says it all.

Just wondering, some times my guy seems to try so hard to prove to me that he is straight that he seems gay. Like he is sleeping over at his guy friends and I say "so you're sleeping over with him?" and he says "not in the same bed!" like he's trying to hard to prove he is not gay. Well, I find it is unnecessary to say "not in the same bed" because duh, I know he is not gay. Or is he secretly gay? What do you guys think the signs of a in the closet gay person is like? By the way he after his ex, didn't have a girlfriend for like 7 years so do you think during those times he was gay? what do you think?

ok thanks for your answers.


Most Helpful Guy

  • you know he is probably joking when he says those things...


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Well, there's the possibility that he is gay. However he might just be a homophobe rather than in the closet. Maybe since he went so long without a girlfriend he was accused of being gay a lot, kind of like what your doing now. So when he is now accused of being gay, or something is said that implies he isn't strait, he automatically jumps on the defensive. Makes sense to me. But who knows? your boyfriend might be a closeted gay and you might just be a beard.

  • Your guy might be gay if he...

    has more shoes than you do

    sits down to pee

    watches Glee

    watches Oprah

    agrees with whatever Dr. Phil says

    drinks appletinis

    loves gossip

    takes longer to get dressed than you do

    he would prefer anal sex if you guys have sex at all

  • u are a RA-TARD...if your ganna ask so your sleeping over with him...well no sh*t that's going to be offending so he's going to say not in the same bed...hes not gay... we guys have sleep overs tooo...its when we complain about our girlfriends ^^...and call over other girls ^-^ GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!

  • Have you witnesses him doing gay things? If not then just quit worrying. This is why I stay out of relationships it just creates stress and worry out of the smallest things. Just go with the flow, if he turns out to be gay then at least you have a new best friend right? Your young so it's not like there won't be other guys, and then youd have someone to judge every little thing about him for you haha.

  • Next time Yall are fooling around stick a finger in back door. If he let's you then he may be, if it goes in easy then he definitly is. Lmao

    • that sounds like a good idea to test out but it sounds gross as well and I wouldn't do it because I'd get grossed out.

  • eating too much ice cream...bitching about bleach...LIKING D*CK!


What Girls Said 6

  • Some say that a guy is gay if Dressing more feminine

    Looking at other men in a different way

    Holding his hands different

    Changes his clothes

    Stealing your makeup

    Paints the walls pink/purple

    Or if when he's with men he hugs them or acts slightly different

  • 8) More interested in the men than the women in p*rnographic films

    Pornography is a dangerous element in any marriage but there are many Christians who feel watching it does add something to their sexual lives. If you have gone down this road and find that your man perks up at the sight of the men in these sorts of videos, you should be concerned. If he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire.

    9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia

    Some husbands will spend a great deal of money traveling far from home to hide their deplorable same-sex actions. Big cities offer indulgence of every kind. From gay bars and clubs to prostitutes and sex bathhouses, a man seeking encounters can find them easily if he's so inclined. Is there ever really a good excuse for a husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?

    10) Too many friendly young male friends

    Someone who makes an extra effort to surround themselves with younger men should raise concerns in any community. If this is the case with your husband, ask yourself if he prefers their company to that of women. Do they touch each other or embrace in long hugs? Do they exchange expensive, personal gifts like scarves or cologne?

    11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends

    A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has "let his hair down" and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one's hands.

    12) Love of pop culture

    It's quite common for young men to enjoy the science fiction end of popular culture, but when your husband becomes overly obsessed with romantic and feminine shows, that is cause for alarm. Gossip websites, Glee and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.

    13) Extroverted about his bare chest in public

    Does he go shirtless in the back yard or at picnics when other men are around? Does he wear a speedo at the beach? Does it seem like he's purposely standing right in the middle of a crowd to show off his chest and arm muscles, peppering people with questions about how strong he looks? He may be craving physical affirmation from other men and desperately looking for hints of shared desires in those around him.

    14) Sudden heavy drinking

    Sometimes people dealing with an unbearable emotional issue like homosexuality will turn to alcohol to hide their distress. Does your man disappear on drinking binges for long hours without answering his cellphone? Is there a strange odor about him when he returns, some strange mix of cigarettes and gel? Does he cry frequently?

  • 1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers

    Porn addiction is closely associated with homosexuality and a secretive nature implies he's trying to hide something from you. Be on the lookout for a man who doesn't want to web surf or answer phone calls in your presence. Texting is another favorite trick used by adulterers. For the sake of trust, a married couple should share everything, including phone logs, email accounts, chat friends and website histories.

    2) Looks at other men in a flirtatious way

    When you're out in public, does he spend too much time looking at other men? Is he fond of winking at people? Does he get visibly upset when someone does not return a compliment about his physical appearance?

    3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups

    Have you noticed a lack of interest in spiritual issues? Does it ever seem as if he's just using church as an excuse to spend time around young men? Does he volunteer to mentor in all-male groups?

    4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home

    Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your man tweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers? Is he picky about brand name shampoos? Does he spend more time getting ready for a night out than you do?

    5) Gym membership but no interest in sports

    Gay men use the gym as a place to socialize and to have secret liaisons in the bathrooms. They like to work out their bodies without the competition of sports play. Afterward, they use the showers and steam rooms to engage in sexual activity beyond the prying eyes of women. If your man returns from the gym too exhausted to talk or have sex, that is a worrisome sign.

    6) Clothes that are too tight and too "trendy"

    Gay men don't need words to communicate their availability for sex "hook ups." They silently broadcast the news by showing off their lean, hard bodies in designer clothing labels. If your husband owns skinny jeans and looks at his buttocks in the mirror or if he wears an inordinate number of small-sized t-shirts, it is probably worthwhile to pay more attention to his private activities.

    7) Strange sexual demands

    Fetishism is a sign that a man is seeking a harder thrill beyond the normal intimacy of heterosexual relations. The woman may not appeal to the deep desires that are coming to the surface as the marriage drags on. If there is a sudden interest in sodomy, sadomasochism, lubricants, role-play, sex toys or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.

  • continuing

    Do you play video games with your boyfriend? If so, you'll be glad that there is also a way of knowing if he is guy just by looking at his character choices. Many gay men would pick a female character in a game with a versus mode. For example, in X-Men, Storm is a gay man's favorite. It has not been proven whether there is a psychological explanation for this, but it is a trend. If your boyfriend chooses a male character, it doesn't mean that you're safe. Cyclops is also often a gay man's pick because, well, he is extremely hot. And he abhors Jean Grey for that.

    Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you too many compliments in a very unmanly way. For example, instead of saying "You look beautiful," he'll say, "I like the way your top matches your tanned skin, and oh, your boots are so fetch." If you hear that from your boyfriend, don't feel glad. You might just have a gay partner.

    Gay people hiding inside the closet are usually very vocal about their distaste and hatred for gay men. While it seems a little counterintuitive, there is a reason why they do it. Because they don't want to be caught or be suspected that they are gay, they would cover their true identity by blatantly expressing their rage against gay men. They also tend to overdo this; thus, they become harsh gay-bashers. If your boyfriend is like that, then he might be gay. As one adage goes, the greatest homophobe is homosexual.

    Check out his MySpace page. One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his MySpace list of friends or contacts. If you have never seen these men or you don't know whether they are your boyfriend's friends in person, they might just have had their communication online. An average straight guy won't view a profile of a man he doesn't know personally, much less add him to his list of contacts. It's not just MySpace; browse through his Facebook or Friendster page and see if you can find some. Or worse, research and try to find out if he has accounts in gay networking sites. You can also check your browser's history to see if he has visited any gay adult sites on the web.

    The truth is, you don't need all these signs to know whether your partner is gay or not. What you should do is sit down and talk to him about it. Make him feel that it is all right and that you understand. Finding out if your boyfriend is gay needs a little observation and a lot of honesty.

    • he always chooses to play as a girl on video games. he says it's better to look at a girl all day than a guy.

  • Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn't care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he's batting for the other team.

    People always consider gay guys to be fans of many divas. If your boyfriend likes listening to divas such as Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and (God forbid) Cher, then he might be one flaming gay man. Have you ever seen your boyfriend listening to any of these divas' records? Or worse, have you ever heard him singing any of their songs? And if he indeed sings their songs, does he do it in falsetto? If your answer is yes, then that could be a sign.

    For some reason, gay guys love watching beauty pageants, as far as stereotypes are concerned. These events are a celebration of beauty and glamor that many gay people really value. Of course, your boyfriend won't let his fascination with beauty pageants be known, but if you really want to know, here's a quick tip. While talking about another topic, ask this question out of the blue: "Oh by the way, who was the 1999 Miss Universe?" If he is able to give you an answer, be scared. Be very scared. Gay people often also love awards shows such as the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the Grammys and many others.

    Another excellent way to know if your boyfriend is gay is by simply observing his eyes. Yep, it's all in the eyes. The next time you two are walking in a mall or around a local park with numerous people, notice how his eyes move. Some gay people let their eyes wander and jump from one guy to another. Notice how he shifts his vision when a hot man passes by. If his eyes are shifty when he is around men, he might be gay.

    A closeted gay man also feels uncomfortable and uneasy around straight guy friends as he tries hard not to show his concealed sexuality. In a public men's room, a closeted gay man is also uncomfortable using any empty urinal when other straight men are using the ones near his. Often, instead of using the urinals, he would go inside a cubicle and just pee into the toilet bowl.

    Gay men, whether out or closeted, are inspired by many gay people who have proven their worth in history. There is just pure pride and sense of accomplishment that many gay guys feel when someone gay is able to achieve something. This can be evident in his in-depth knowledge about these things. Can he last even five minutes without quoting Oscar Wilde? Does he keep on stressing out that Alexander the Great was gay and that he was in love with his best friend? Does he always talk about how Oprah did something amazing? Okay, Oprah is not gay, but many gay people love her.

    • i know he likes celine dion.

  • No he's not gay unless he actually does something gay. I know lots of guys who sleep over each others' houses and joke around about it. It's usually the ones that are more confident that do this because they don't care. A lot of people also sleep over because driving home after partying or living far away isn't an option. Just my thoughts.