How do you feel about your gender's role in sexuality/reproduction?

Male role: -more physically aggressive competition for mates
-libido is aroused more easily and frequently, as motivation to obtain mates
-refreshes/renews sperm regularly by masturbation or nocturnal ejaculation
-must work to acquire resources to support mates (especially during their pregnancy and breastfeeding)
-must work to be strong emotionally and physically, to protect mates in times of vulnerability
-must work harder to impress a potential mate
-orgasm during nearly every sexual encounter, as motivation to mate with as many people as possible
-must work harder to arouse a woman
-must work harder to give a woman an orgasm to exhibit that you're a high-quality mate (because the female body doesn't provide positive reinforcement to sexual relations with low-quality mates, because unlike for men, mating with low-quality mates can be deadly for women)
-has to deal with partner's libido potentially decreasing after childbirth because she's getting sufficient affection by breastfeeding

Female role: -works to be physically attractive
-more focused on building positive relations with other people, to ensure support while pregnant/childbearing (but also more bothered by negative relations)
-libido is aroused less easily and frequently, to avoid risking impregnation by nonsupportive/low-quality mates
-pursued by the opposite gender, who works harder to impress you (may offer free things & do things for you)
-body avoids orgasm with low-quality mates, but provides longer and more intense orgasms (possibly multiple orgasms) with ideal mates
-body refreshes uterine lining on a monthly basis (via periods) to ensure the best environment for a baby to grow
-experiences pregnancy, childbearing, and breastfeeding, which can be difficult/problematic but can create a stronger bond with the child

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These are generalities, & there are exceptions to everything (e. g. I'm sure as hell not "focused on building relations"; I'm extremely introverted), but these are general trends.
  • I greatly prefer my gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote A
  • I prefer my gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote B
  • I kinda prefer my gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote C
  • Both are equally good (or bad) but in different ways
    Vote D
  • I kinda prefer the OTHER gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote E
  • I'd prefer the OTHER gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote F
  • I'd greatly prefer the OTHER gender's role in sexuality/reproduction
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Obviously most people are going to prefer the gender that they are because its the one they know. Also men are not "more aggressive", studies have shown that testosterone does not increase aggression it increases protectiveness and competitiveness (which may come off as "aggression" but are significantly different. Also it can make them more suspicious (in order to be more on guard for potential threats). However both roles are what they are and they are necessary for our survival. While men have to make some of the biggest sacrifices and work harder to be valued, that also is what drives men to be more ambitious and is what created civilization and the technology we use every day. It has its benefits and weaknesses just as female roles in sexuality do (she is always valued comparative to men, but this means she has no real drive to develop herself or create anything lasting which is why for almost all of history its been primarily men who have created technologies and made discoveries, because women didn't have to in order to be valued, men on the other hand did. ).

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    • What I meant by "more physically aggressive competition" was that most murders (75%) are male-on-male, then male-on-female, then female-on-male, then lastly (about 3% of murders) female-on-female.
      The difference in murder can't be due to differences in strength, because if it was, then women would murder women more than they murder men. (Plus, guns enable even weak people to easily murder anyone, yet women's murder levels are still much lower.)

    • @mistixs I'm sorry, but what does murder have to do with sex roles?

    • That has nothing to do with masculinity. Most domestic violence is female on male, so what? The reason why most violence is male on male is due to disfunction in how said male was raised (usually fatherlessness) and is directed at other males because we are biologically wired to protect women. That still is an incredibly rare occurrence (16 thousand murders a year roughly in the US, within a population of 325 million. That is about.004% of the population i. e. insanely rare and cannot be used to judge men as a whole). Your taking an anomolie and stating that its the norm, its not. Again, if we look women are far more violent towards their spouses and children statistically speaking, so does that mean women are more violent? No because its still rare and it has to do with the individual not the gender. Hell if you look at serial killers we know that they act the way they do due to abuse at the hands of their mother, does that mean women are responsible for it by proxy? Again, no, this is a rare occasion which your trying to pass off as ubiquitously masculine.

  • Wow very insightful. So, do you think the ideal mate is different for every girl or its the 80:20 thing, meaning every girl is likely to orgasm with superior quality males. In that case, I guess that explains why do so many women are so unhappy in long term monogamous relationships. In early human history a female would not do well with a less ideal male but now modern society has alleviated such pressure and less ideal men can also support families and women also work and there's other support. But the natural tendencies haven't changed and it doesn't pleasure a woman as much when she's with a less than ideal mate.

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    • Well, most men enter relationships, and most women DO end up orgasming during relationships, so I think it depends on the woman, which mate might be ideal.
      Another factor in female orgasm is the level of commitment that she and her partner have.

Most Helpful Girls

  • There are a couple of issues with this.

    Evolutionary science still isn't sure why women have orgasms yet, it's still anyone's guess at this point. So you can't say it's an integral role for men to make women orgasm. Over half of women don't regularly experience it, some of them never do, and they still reproduce with those men. Female orgasm is more specific to the individual woman, and not a skill that a man can develop and use in the same fashion with multiple women.

    In the flip side, one major female role left out is "work hard to physically attract mates through beautification". Modern society often brands this is as something women do for themselves, but it's actually a gender role of sexual reproduction. Despite what anyone says, it's the reason why women wear makeup, carefully calculate their outfits, and do their hair.

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  • I don't see all of those things as particularly necessary, or gender based.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1341
  • I didn't vote but I am a huge fan of conciseness.

    Males compete, females choose.

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    • Which do you prefer?

    • Show All
    • What's your female component?

    • Two examples: I'm much more verbal than most men. I can talk about how I feel and about sex more comfortably than most men.

  • NO WAY I would want to be a woman. Being a man = FREEDOM. It's a dangerous world out there and women need protection all the time because they aren't as strong as men. And having babies and being stuck being their caretakers for 20+ years? NO THANKS.

    Being a man means I can do whatever the hell I want to do. It's freedom.

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    • "having babies and being stuck being their caretakers for 20+ years?"
      Abortion?

    • A woman is free to not have children, if that's her preference

  • I like the way you presented both sides. Seems like you really know wtf you’re talking about.

    I think there’s a balance and it’s hard to choose. For a man, you win if you’re an “ideal mate.” If you aren’t in the “ideal mate” category then all you experience is endless pain and suffering as you can’t fine a woman to love you. So it could be good to be a man or horrible.

    Same for women. You could find some guy, have babies be married and live happily ever after. Or you could get raped and raise a rape baby by yourself.

    I prefer the female method. I know what it’s like to not be able to attract a woman and from seeing what other guys go through who are in the same boat, we suffer endlessly. It really fucking sucks. Our genes want us to mate above all other things and when you can’t it destroys you. This is why there are so many men who cat call and rape and abuse and harass women. Because it’s extremely painful to be unnatractive to women.

    I’m sure it sucks to get raped and all that. But at least it’s momentary. You can get over it or be left mentally damaged for life. I’d rather get raped I think tbh. A life of suffering or a few minutes? Eh..

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    • But us men do have an advantage. Women are attracted to competency, ultimately. That is the one word which sums up female attraction. Any man can learn to become competent and thus attractive to women (tho most will just whine and cry cuz “girls only care about looks and money” which is bullshit.)

      For a woman, your looks are mostly it. If you’re hideous, you’re fucked. Forever alone. But hideous women are much rarer than hideous men. But a hideous man can attract beautiful women if he’s sufficiently competent.

      So in that regard id choose to be a man instead. It’s just that I know that when a man is low on the attraction level, things go crazy in our brains that makes it worse instead of better. Just look at all the angry guys out there. You can go on the internet and watch ugly fucks who used to be losers pick up girls like nothing and these guys STILL whine and cry about looks and money. Being a male with low attractiveness to women doesn’t only hurt your chances with women. It means the rest of your life is potentially bad as well. And your own perspective is forced down this retarded blind road that makes you crazy and turns you into a rapist... basically. And that’s why low quality mates are dangerous to women.

  • Im fine being a female and ok with how things work such is life.

    It a lot easier to accept that I bleed monthly to remind me of my body health. And that it wasn't me "who" decided that. It was nature.

    Less confusing too than trying to pin feelings to facts.

    You know as human we question everything and that a good thing. It Helps us discover stuff. But I wonder if learning so much has cause the lot of us to not even trust nature itself anymore... Knowledge will forever govern ignorance

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  • I don’t think I care... it’s not like we’re living in the wild. A lot of those things don’t really apply unless you actively seek to live out those roles yourself. Humans were blessed with a more developed sense of choice and desire.

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  • If you were living in a small tribe and the best archer was your brother and the best spear thrower was your cousin going for the alpha male might not be your best option. My evolutionary plan is to live somewhere where my DNA is relatively rare, and learn enough about the culture so my new tribe accepts me so the females of the tribe can chose me without losing the support of their tribe. I am actually planning to do some research on this. I think hierarchy isn't the only evolutionary tactic.

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  • "libido is aroused less easily and frequently, to avoid risking impregnation by nonsupportive/low-quality mates"
    Well, how's that working out for the tens of millions of single mothers?

    Anyway, if anyone reads this list, and doesn't see the obvious inbalance, I don't know what to say.

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    • by the way I still prefer to be a man - being the underdog feels better. But I would prefer if the relations were equal, and nobody would have an unfair advantage out of the two sexes.

    • How is being a man = being the underdog?

    • Also, single mothers are in the minority, even among mothers themselves, nevermind the general female population.
      Yes, there are exceptions. There are also exceptions with male trends. 10-20% of men (millions of men) have Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, i. e. an extremely low libido. That doesn't disprove the general trend.
      Likewise, the small percentage of single mothers doesn't disprove a general trend.

      Also, notice "nonsupportive/low-quality mates". There are two categories there.
      Most women want both, but some women can't find a mate that will be both, so they choose one or the other. In the case of single mothers, it's likely that they chose a mate who was nonsupportive but also high-quality in terms of DNA (strong, physically attractive, widely desired, etc) so that the good genes can be passed to her children.

      Another note: lots of casual sex happens because of alcohol use, which lowers women's natural inhibitions. It's not most women's natural tendency.

  • I like my pee pee. The main reason is I NEVER WANT TO BE PREGNANT, I am a sissy when it comes to great pain. Never want to go through that, and I don't want to have an periodd. That's a whole other deal I don't want either I just stick with my light crossdressing and call it good. No girly personality shit here, just gimme your clothes. lmao

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  • Reading all this makes me think that from a Darwinistic point of view going to the sperm bank was not such a bad decision :-)

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    • True, but from a Darwinian point of view, it's also ideal that the father helps the mother raise the child.

  • To be completely damn honest I would rather be a female at this point. But since I'm not I obviously want to be a decent male. I wish it wasn't so much harder than female though.

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  • I have a certain pride knowing that only women can have a baby grow inside us.

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  • Gender roles are a made up social construct. They are the most idiotic thing ever imagined.

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    • The fact that women risk more in childbearing & are thus pickier with mates isn't a social construct

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    • If he's loyal but is unable to support her, then what's the point (from a physical perspective)?
      also, women can't help the fact that they struggle to orgasm with low-quality mates. Do you expect women to just go without orgasms while men continue to have orgasms nearly 100% of the time?

    • How would he be unable to support her? He’s the man. No one is supporting him, so he would have to support himself. If he can support himself, he can support her. And how do women struggle to orgasm with low quality mates? What exactly is a low quality mate?

  • I like it I'm a smart and creative man which means that I dont have to suffer physically as much to do what's expected of me. Also your text never mentions how men avoid or dont want low quality mates.

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  • I kinda prefer the other gender's role because I'm on the masculine side and personally I like chasing, seducing, pleasuring, supporting.

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  • I think the whole process is repulsive. Rather I would like to be asexual have just a smoothe surface down there and have zero biological motivation for procreation. Really my brain is constantly reminding me of sex sex sex it’s fucking annoying.

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  • Under no circumstances would I consider having monthly periods, under any conditions.

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  • I think it sucks for women because of the fact of your anatomy (vagina) You can have more orgasms if with a great partner, but it's harder for women to orgasm. You deal with more things that I and men take for granted not having to deal with from having a penis. Women have your periods, cramps and issues. The pain and 9months of carrying a baby and hassle and pain of child birth. UTIs are much more common for women to have because of anatomy than men. I mean just these medical issues. The hpv virus is more likely to possibly cause cervical cancer for women. Men can have prostate and testicular cancer. But women contract STDS easier than men too, which I believe is because of anatomy too. Bacteria and viruses will grow easier in "openings" especially ones that are warm and moist. The worst dysfunction for men is ED, but pills can help with that. It seems like stuff that have to do with pain sure effects women more often from their sex organ

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  • I think that many men are being pressured out of their typical role under the guise of the condemnation of "toxic masculinity". The likely result? More male suicide and the newly emergent incels. Such behavioral outcomes, in my humble opinion, stem from a lack of purpose, or rather, being pushed away from one's natural purpose or inclination.

    For example, when I was a little kid, my little brother and I loved to play fight together, often with our dad too. My sisters (understandably) never participated in that. That shouldn't be unusual, and it's understandable that only us boys used to play fight, and the girls didn't.

    Read this:
    www.theatlantic.com/.../

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  • I think I prefer the female role, but only because I find competition tiresome even if I often win out.

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  • I'm glad I'm a man, and I embrace my part of the reproductive process and everything else that is entailed in being a Man, but unless I am already married to a woman, if she is not loyal I will not compete for her, if she is loyal or I am married to her I will keep her no matter what she or anyone else thinks, but if she isn't married to me and isn't loyal, she''s out.

    However if a guy is trying to scoop a girl off me when he knows she has a guy, even if I'm going to dump her anyway, I still may deal with him directly for being a scumbag, but I am not actually competing for her, I am just dealing with him man to man about his conduct.

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    • And "evolution" and all the presumptions that go along with it are all unscientific blind superstitious nonsense that is used to try to rationalize dishonorable selfish chimp-like behavior and general stupidity.

  • Sexuality? Just fine. Reproduction? Gross, because reproduction is gross.

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  • I don't like it. Fortunately though, it has nothing to do with me.

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  • I don't care about it, because that's how nature designed us, and it's pointless to try to go against nature.

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  • Well, being my gender has worked out very well for me

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  • i feel like it’s a cage of rules you have to follow

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  • I prefer the male role because I am naturally outgoing and do not get discouraged by rejections.

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  • i like my role... i enjoy the high libido and ability to mount my mate lol

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  • Lol I can recognize your questions just based on the vote choices! Are you a robot?

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    • Well don't always assume it is me; I've noticed some other people stealing my question/answer formats -.- but yes I'm a robot 😂 (jk)

    • Nah, Don't look at it that way! Surveys have been around long before even I was spawned :)

  • I donate my sperm and I'm done. What's not to like?

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  • Both seem pretty difficult for me.
    That's why I'm not focusing on reproduction.

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  • Gender roles exist. I'm not chopping them down, yet if I don't fully fit into one exactly I really couldn't care less.

    Sure I'm a bit timid and introverted compared to the stereotypical man but I'm still masculine and male. I have above average strength and I will protect someone I care about.
    Mainly it's my friends at the moment, I would protect a woman but I'm being very cautious about dating as it's screwed so many guys over. I have to be cautious and hesitant even if it's not stereotypically masculine.

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  • This is a great breakdown!

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    • @Iwant2know this is what we were talking about

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    • Because just like in your question, other factors and possibilities are important. There is cases where men may feel attracted to a woman but then their low self esteem intervenes, ignoring the rest of his instincts.

    • Right, exactly

  • I really thought you're talking about animals.

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  • There is no role

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  • None of them as an asexual.

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  • Love it 👍🏻

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  • I love impregnating :3

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  • Mustache

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  • I am ok with my role

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  • Honestly I think guys have it harder than girls do they have to work for relationships so much more they need to do a lot of work so do females but I think the male gender role would be far more difficult to achieve as you need to go out and find a girl and show her you are good

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  • i'm glad you even admit that men have to work harder to impress a potential mate, I remember I read a book that went into description about evolutionary psychology, and the author is a woman, and even she admitted that women are a bit more complicated and harder to attract, seduce than men are.

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  • I don't like "my role", because it's just a damn stereotype... not all men are the same.
    Why do we have to work harder to impress the girls?
    I'm too shy and I prefer girls who take initiative, but unfortunately, such girls are very rare.
    Being a male sucks when you live in an old-fashioned and conservative society.
    I blame the patriarchal upbringing.

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    • Men have to work harder because women evolved to be pickier with mates to ensure they had someone to support them during the vulnerable stage of pregnancy and breastfeeding.

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    • but many have sex with them. They don't have kids, because there's protection and maybe they definitely try to make sure to get pregnant from said jerks because of that ha. But the jerks still get the nookie

    • @brennanhuff Yeah, jerks are lukcy, apparently.

  • As of right now I feel like I want to play the female role, but without childbirth. I don't want to have kids anyway. And yet, somehow I'm straight...

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  • Women have it easy. Men have to work at it.

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  • I greatly prefer the other role, because women's roles in seduction and dating are practically non-existent, the man is expected to do literally everything.

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  • The male role is so much more appealing to me.

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  • Really , girls get sufficient affection by breastfeeding?

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    • Yes. For a lot of women, it's a strong bonding experience

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    • Well, lots of people complain about getting sore from running (me), but plenty of people enjoy running & get a "runners high" from it. Some people experience both. Likewise for breastfeeding. Some women experience pleasure, some women experience pain, some women experience both.

    • Mmmm ok I see. Good to know I guess haha 😆

  • me man !! me do man stuff ug ug !!

    I just live my life how i please if i find the right girl for me cool if not thats cool to, im not gonna play by the rules of muh feminizim or muh community

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  • Even with all the abuse and harassers, nowadays being a female is living tutorial mode.

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  • How do you feel about your gender's role in sexuality/reproduction?

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