What to do when you have vaginismus -aka dyspareunia (pain during sex)?

Anonymous
In the past I had been sexually abused - and multiple times tbh. My first sexual experience, which was all against my will, was at very young - I mean it very young and it was all forced and I felt corrupted and worthless. There were guys who hurt me physically so bad that I avoided sex at all. I have been a celibate for a very long while.. I decided to go for online dating. But it led to nowhere - we didn’t do anything physical because it was online.
Recently I gave up on celibacy and tried it because I trust my partner. But the sex is so painful that I end up screaming :$ it’s so embarrassing.. I dont dare going to a gynecologist/psychologist about this issue.
What to do when you have vaginismus -aka dyspareunia (pain during sex)?
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