I've been straight my whole life but people would always make fun of me and call me gay. I can't get any girls to date me or have sex with me anymore. I get so sexually frustrated that I considered having sex with men. I had sex with 2 trans girls and got head from 2 others. The last trans girl and me did anal for the first time and I didn't really care for it. Her dick was too small. I also sucked her cock which was interesting but not that great. So I had a few gay thoughts growing up and tried a boy this time. He just sucked me off and we made out. I never climaxed with anyone before or any girls. I jerked myself off as we made out and I came. I felt disgusted after and when my trans fuck buddy left me I stopped feeling attracted to trans people and the idea of topping them. I'm dying everyday wanting a girlfriend but I can't help but feel the urge to try getting topped by a big strong man with muscles. I practiced massaging my prostate to gay porn for like 2 years and loved it. I could achieve multiple full body orgasiums that felt better than with my penis. Now I'm wondering if I should do it and if I will regret it. I'm not emotionally attracted to men but sexually I know they can blow my mind and give me intense pleasure. Should I do it?