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I can't kiss someone, yet I can have sex with them; how to combat this?

Tomsta
There is a long story here so i'll do my best to shorten it. I fell for someone while at uni (first love), they didn't feel the same way about me (that i could handle, been there countless times). However rather than just ending it they proceeded to use me as an emotional crutch and feel good button. Also ended up kissing this person with their boyfriend present (According to her he gave his permission; they both knew how strongly i felt about her)

Anyway since then i have not been able to kiss someone; yet if some women happened to be naked in my bed, having sex with her would pose no real issue what so ever (I have basically completely separated sex from emotions), it's linked to a fear of being vulnerable and i can't work out how to combat this

For me physical intimacy is very hard for me to do, even some forms of emotional intimacy are very tricky for me. I am in therapy however i like to try and do things outside of therapy to help where i can as well

I can't seem to find a way of combating it that isn't one extreme or the other (Either i revert back to completely shutting down and become cold and bitter again, or i become an emotional wreck)
I can't kiss someone, yet I can have sex with them; how to combat this?
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