How to end a friends with benefits relationship?

There's this guy who I've known literally my whole life (our parents have been best friends since high school). Though not very close, we were always friends (he's a few years older) but we just recently began getting intimate in our relationship this February when I moved. Though I wanted to be in a relationship, he didn't so our relationship was never categorized but I just thought of us as friends with benefits because of the way we interact (he had told me he wasn't ready for a relationship). However, I find myself getting very emotionally attatched (though we didn't kiss and things like that until earlier this year I had liked him for about a year or so before). Also, to make matters worse, I moved so now we will be going to the same high school. I wouldn't be able to stand seeing him flirting with somene else (I'm not sure if he would but I wouldn't want to take any chances and look stupid) and I think its time that I get into an actual committed relationship since it is what I want. Sometimes I feel like we act like a real couple but then I see him online firting with other girls and I know it isn't true.

How can I end this fwb-type relationship and still remain friends in the end? How should I start the conversation?

ALSO, should I tell him in person or by text?

Thanks :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • The next time you two hang out, tell him how you feel. Say that you want a real relationship, not a friends with benefits (even if he denies that your relationship is a fwb, it's pretty obvious that it is). Tell him that you'd love to keep hanging out and being his friend, but that the physical part is over as you need to start moving on and finding someone looking for the same things you are.

    It's honest, to the point, and it's not insulting. Then KEEP to your word. If you go back on that and hook up with him again outside of a relationship, he won't take a word you say seriously after that. In fact, he'll probably pressure even harder, and make up lies to keep the physical part going. He's going to attempt to change your mind about it, but unless his decision is to commit, stick to your guns.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Free will! Do what you feel best serves you. In my opinion let him go. Live your life as it serves you best. Keep a light hearted friendship( but limited) with him if you choose. Date and don't hide it. If he is flirting then he is looking. Of course he is not going to tell you he is sleeping around! Assume he does. Why else would he be chasing women? So don't put your life on hold for unknown break that bad habit!

  • I am in the same situation... I think these relationships are even harder than real ones. I would talk to him in person, and just be honest. Try to make it more like a conversation (why you think you should end it, why you should still be friends, etc) rather than an announcement of sorts. Other than that... I'll be interested to see what other people say.

  • Just let him know that next tiem he tries anythign that your tired of it and your done with being his f*** buddy.