I love my best friend, but he doesn't know... What do I do?

Okay, this is kind of long, but it is a very tricky situation.

I have been best friends with this guy for almost four years now and have liked him for three of those years. About a year back, he kissed e for the first time and said that he wanted my first kiss to be with a friend, so that no strings were attached. To cut it long story short, we ended up becoming friends with benefits and were 'together' all the time.

At one point during last year, he told me he loved me, and I admitted my love for him too. We went out for a bit, but it ended up not working out, and stupidly enough, we went back to being friends with benefits again.

He ended the friends with benefits thing earlier this year because he began to like this other girl. I was kind of fine with that, but he knew I was still in love with him...

Our friendship, however, ended up taking a turn for the worst and he ended up beginning to hate me because I have liked him for so long.

I recently came back from a holiday overseas when I realized that I would rather not love him and keep him as a best friend, then to love him and lose our friendship. So when I came back, I ended up telling him that I don't love him anymore, when I secretly do...

Now we have gone back to being best friends again, and our friendship is stronger than ever, and I'm scared that if I 'confess' my love for him again, then our relationship will again take a turn for the worst...

I'm so scared as I really want to tell him, but I'm petrified of losing our friendship...

What should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What should you do? Find another man who will love you back. The whole time I read your story I was thinking to myself "why doesn't she explore what's out there instead of obsessing over this one guy?" Let another man into your life, and give him a chance to win your heart. This guy is clearly looking past you, and that's perfectly fine. Not everyone will see eye to eye.

    Lying about your feelings just to keep him around means you are desperate, and only delaying the inevitable. One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is they try to fit a square peg into a circle. It didn't work before, and it won't work in the future. It's just not meant to be. From what I'm reading, he saw you as a friend and nothing more since Day 1. When you tried to take it further, it didn't work out. That should have been the end of it.

    You can remain friends, but you have to get out there and meet other guys. Once your love is reciprocated, you won't have to obsess over this guy, and he will have the space he needs. Being together on honest terms is what a real friendship is all about.

    • I've never looked at it like this before. Thanks so much for opening my eyes! I really appreciate it!

    • Thanks a lot! I was about to take everything back thinking "The QA is just gonna be like whatever, and call me a jerk, etc" but it worked out! Haha.

    • When I first read it, I was kind of caught off guard, but after I thought about it, it actually made a lot of sense... Thanks again!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Tell him, and if it ruins your friendship, so be it. It sounds like you can't be friends with him without loving him, so you'd just be torturing yourself anyway.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well if you tell him you love him again, he's not going to believe you. Guys don't like lies and youve already lied to him. (Its like the boy who cried wolf).

    if I was in that position, I would tell him the truth this time and be honest about it. Friendship is everything but sometimes you have to risk what you have, don't be afraid and tell him. If you don't tell him how you feel you'll always wonder "what if I told him"...who knows "maybe" he loves you too or he just sees you as his friend. Anyway, let him know how you feel instead of worrying, don't hold it back (youll drive yourself crazy). I know I have been in that position once.

  • tell him

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