How to get over getting lied about the past (she took my virginity)?

Ok so I have been with my girlfriend for slightly more than 2 years and as the title states it, this is my first relationship. She knew I was a virgin and has never even kissed a girl before. Everything was totally new to me but eventually I became a fast learner on time.

After telling her I was a virgin, she told me about only being with 2 bfs in the past and well I thought 'Ok no big deal, at least she was in a relationship''. Then one year into the relationship (I had already lost my virginity by then), she said it was really with 5 and 3 were ONS. But I'm still so much in love and it being my first, it's harder to just let go so I tried to get pass that.

Now recently she comes with the full truth but only after taking her to a friend's party and some guy calling out her name. I obviously wanted to know what's going on by then. She then tells me that it's really around 18-21 and how she was ashamed of her past for the longest but couldn't say it at the same.

Part of me feels like one of those suckers that has to be lied to that extend. I hate how I was led on. I'm still upset about all this whole thing. At the same time, I'm trying to get over it but can't.
Not only is the number too high but most of her past consist of ONS and FWB. The only little truth she said was about having 2 bfs (I'm her 3rd) but I had no idea it was really only 3 serious relationship out of many casual ones.


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What Guys Said 2

  • So what exactly is bothering you? I'm not saying you shouldn't be, but also understand why it happened. But there are a few different aspects that might be bothering you and I can't really suggest much until you figure it out in your head.

    You might be surprised to find that some things that logically make sense aren't actually bothering you, and what is bothering you emotionally, you don't really think is important in your head. And that can help letting things go.

    • Everything is bothering me: her high number while she/s my first, she only has been in 3 relationships while all the rest were randoms, the ONS and FWB thing and the fact that she even once tried it with 2 men at once.

      In the beginning I really believed it was the girl I've been waiting for. The image was starting to distort when she then told me the 2nd lie about 3bfs and 2 randoms and now this!

    • Show All
    • There are lots of girls who think that way, more then there are men. Men are more likely to have not had casual sex due to lack of opportunity. Women are offered (encouraged) casual sex constantly, and from guys who are actually out of their league for dating. Imagine if you constantly had girls too hot for you to date suggesting hooking up. All. The. Time.

    • So anyway, seems like the main issue is that you feel like maybe you two see sex differently. That you think of it as something special, not just recreational. And that now you feel like when she has sex with you, it might mean less, because you know she'd have sex with someone just for fun, or because she kind of felt like it, not out of love?

  • get tested for STDs and find a non-whore GF

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