What do you hate about porn?

Anonymous
Sometimes I watch free porn, but I find it hard to find videos I like. Here are my main beefs (giggity).

1) Big fake boobs and make up. Boobs that look like they're about to pop and make up that looks like a clown. So many girls that are faker than Michael Jackson (rest in peace).

2) Faking, faking, faking. These girls scream at the top of their lungs from the moment of entry, say the dirtiest $hit I've ever heard, look at the camera with snarling looks. Can't I just watch a nice, cute girl have normal sex and have a real orgasm?

3) Camera angles. Seriously, the cameramen suck. I'm watching, I finally get to the perfect angle and as I'm about to get my rocks off, the camera moves and I lose it. Also, two things I should never have to see, especially when I'm jerkin it: a) the guy's @$$hole in the middle of the frame, and b) a close-up of the guy's sex face.

4) The stories. Jebus! When I want to watch porn, I want to watch sex. Not a guy interviewing a chick for 15 minutes! Cut the BS and give the people what they came for (giggity)!

5) The positions. Again, I'm watching, I find something that works, and just as I'm about to blow, they change positions. Why do porno videos have to include 5 different positions every time? Sometimes, I just wanna watch a reverse cowgirl and get off.

...and finally...

6) The guys. Remember that d0uchebag from high school? Guess what. You're about to see him get laid! There's always that young guy who thinks he's the $hit because he's in a porno. But he's terrible. He's either nervous or incredibly creepy around the girl, he moans louder than the girl like it's his first time, and he pulls out every other minute so he doesn't cum. It's time to quit, kid!
What do you hate about porn?
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