Why does sex hurt me so bad?

Hi all.

I’m 16 years old and I’ve only just recently because sexually active. I only recently lost my virginity last weekend and I’m pretty worried as it hurt so bad. Before he went inside he done a lot of foreplay he fingered me and rubbed me for agies so I was wet. When he went inside me it hurt so badly I started crying. He done about 3 strokes and after that I just cried and he had to stop. It hurt so badly so so badly, I remember my finger nails were digging into his back because of the pain. I know it was my first time and I’m tight but was my first time supposed to hurt that much to the point I cried? I’m kinda scared to have sex again now, his penis wasn’t even that big it was just thick. Is this normal?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Thickness will hurt more than length anyway, as the pain is from the stretching of the skin AROUND the penis, but yes it'll hurt too if it's too long and hits your cervix or something like that.

    What would you say by "wasn't even that big"?

    Are you a smaller girl? Maybe your anatomy is a certain way where you can only take 4-5" comfortably.
    It is your first time, and your vagina wasn't used to the stretch it hasn't experienced before, and it'll only get better.
    If you're going to try again, you could try telling the guy to do super slow, or use toys to "loosen" your skin/walls to make it hurt less.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You were You may have not been as lubricated as you needed to be, you may not have been fully aroused, and you may have been unconsciously clamping your pubic muscles down in anticipation of pain. I'm going to post two videos for you to watch about losing verginity that should make sex a bit more comfortable for you and help you understand what should happen.

    https://youtu.be/nUjq60Gskkwhttps://youtu.be/9qFojO8WkpA

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    • The bottom line is, if it hurts S T O P. Pain in sex is NOT Normal.
      Always have your partner use condoms AND plenty of condom-safe lube, clean hands, nothing rough, especially because this is new for you.

      If you find it hard to relax and still find it painful to try, speak with a doctor.

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What Guys Said 14



  • Don't have sex for a few weeks. Restart when you're really horny then.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyspareunia#Causes

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  • In order to be safe, you should to go to a gynecologist.

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  • It may take several times of having sex before the hurt goes away. Keep trying and remember, guys have different size dicks. The smaller girth won't hurt as much and you may just have a tight vagina.

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  • The first really hurt. It's okay tho, just take a break for a couple of days and you'll be fine. If I'm the man, I will do it gently so you won't be that hurt.

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  • Thick can hurt more than big because it streches you more. Since it was your first time I wouldn't worry about it hurting that much again, just ease into it tough.

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  • That honestly sounds so hot, you should not have stopped, your vagina will stretch to accommodate his penis eventually. The experience is different for everyone

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  • You need to try and relax and enjoy it, it will get better over time!

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  • You might have vaginesmus problem and need to be cured.

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  • At 16 you shouldn't be having sex !!!

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  • Cuz you might not be wet

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  • endometriosis

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  • Cause you're newbie.

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  • Yes it is normal do you masturbate

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  • Ok so lubrication isn't the issue. It's how quickly your vaginal walls can relax. They can handle a finger but he actually needs a much slower insertion so your internal muscles can acclimate. You can honestly sit there not moving for a a minute or two, trust me your still clenching him something fierce and until your spasms relax you shouldn't go straight to full stroke. Have you ever used a dildo the same way he used his dick? It's still way too forcefull for your first few times.
    Sex should not be hurting at all. It sounds like he's just over eager to go to town because he's been fingering you for ages. Foreplay is not mens forte.

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What Girls Said 5

  • The first times always scary no matter how big or small he is. Domt be scared to tey again. But try when your ready. And use pertection. You got ypur whole life ahead of you and a baby will take over your life.

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  • Just take your time with it.. Dont be scared of it.. It can hurt more maybe cause of nervousness (1st time)

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  • I did the same thing girl !! I cried and that’s when he stopped. I didn’t have any foreplay though. The first time always hurts though. Plus it depends on how big he is.

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  • If it was your first time, it does hurt.

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  • Some women experience more pain than others—you may have had a slightly more full hymen than others or maybe the type that has two sides... you could go to the doctor and see if that’s the case and he/she may be able to help... I mean, some women have hymens that look a bit like Swiss cheese and have to actually have theirs cut so they don’t bleed to death... very very rare, but it happens... we learned about it in anatomy... here is a website that explains it better:
    https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/10/hymens/
    Wishing you luck!

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