I just turned 23 and I'm still a virgin...I kinda wanna lose it to a friend but I'm scared of telling him?

Anonymous
So I just turned 23 a couple days ago and I'm still a virgin... it's kinda frustrating! When I tell people they don't believe me at all. MANY guys have called me beautiful and have tried to hook up with me but I never go for it because I'm embarrassed due to my lack of experience...my lack of experience has even made me fearful of relationships because I'm scared of guys not wanting me as soon as they find out. I also tend to attract very hot guys and would like to have some fun with them but don't wanna seem clueless in bed...

- I have dated 3 guys before (very briefly) and only gave a hand job and got fingered by them.

- I'll admit that I did not have sex with the first guy I dated (at 18) mainly because he was my first boyfriend and I did not feel ready. This relationship lasted 2 months and he hurt me a lot

-I met my 2nd boyfriend at 20...and he was one of my good friends before and it was a long distance relationship. He never really asked me if I was a virgin but I let him finger me/I gave him a handjob(s)...but I was tempted to sleep with him...I was just afraid to admit to him my lack of experience. Eventually he also ended up breaking my heart and hurting me real bad (he had substance abuse issues and came from a broken home)

-guy 3: I met him at 22...he never questioned me as to whether or not I was a virgin (I think he assumed I wasn't ?) and I kinda never told him that I was. We made out a lot but when I felt it getting too intimate I would slowly pull away. I really wanted to sleep with him but I was very embarrassed to tell him because nobody would expect a 21 year old girl to be a virgin (all my friends had already lost it)...I also didn't wanna seem so clueless in front of him (he was very experienced) and I was afraid he'd dump me due to it (I did NOT want him to hurt me like my last bf)-->I dated him for 1 1/2 months and then he dumped me as well

-Anyway, I met another guy a couple of months ago...he was really nice and attractive! We are friends and talk a lot. There was one time when we started making out hardcore. I wanted to sleep with him really badly! but did not know what to do so I stopped making out with him and told him that I liked him a lot and wanted to date him. However, he told me that he did not want a relationship but only wanted something casual. I would've totally said 'yes' but I didn't know how to tell him that I was sexually inexperienced!

Now he has moved to Europe for work but he texts me everyday and we are still friends...I'm also going to Europe this summer with friends but I REALLY wanna meet up with this guy and sleep with him and have some fun...but I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HIM? I'm frustrated with being a virgin. I wanna experience sex but feel so embarrassed to admit that I'm a virgin at 23! HELP
I just turned 23 and I'm still a virgin...I kinda wanna lose it to a friend but I'm scared of telling him?
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