Do guys pull away after a while if they don't get sex?

any explanation would help me. I can handle tough love. please.

been dating over a month but not exclusive. he texts and or calls daily. but for the past few days he's been more distant. still contacts me but not as much every day, like fewer texts back and forth.

he thinks I'm a bit of a tease. he wants to have sex, so do I but it isn't like he's invited me over, and I don't have my own place. plus I guess I'm slightly hesitant because we aren't exclusive.

and we still see each other and after our last date he told me he had fun with me and was sweet.

im not good at expressing my emotions and with him I'm a little scared to because he doesn't, plus he may not be so serious about me so I'm scared to seem too intense and push him away.

he always asks if I missed him and said one time that I never take initiative at contacting him and that I "play tough" with him.

is he just out for sex and mad that I didn't give it up and does this mean I might lose him? if we had a real place to go I'd do it. I accept that we may never be committed anyway, I just want him so much.

could he just be busy? even if he's seeing others, that's his business?

or does he just feel confident that he "has me" since it's been a while now?

or does he think I don't care enough?

so I guess this is a good test to see if it is just sex. I sent him one message about a personal joke we had because it was something I really wanted to tell him. but if after that he is consistently talking less, I guess I should end things before I get my own ass dumped or hurt?


Most Helpful Guy

  • While sex is definitely not the ONLY thing a guy wants out of a relationship, it IS one of the important things. If you take out sex, why be in a relationship at all, because it is no different from just being friends.

    Your guy doesn't mind waiting a little while in order for you to be comfortable and trust him, but if you are teasing him and then not following through, he's going to get frustrated and angry, because you aren't appreciating his patience. And if he gets frustrated and angry, he's going to disengage from you and start looking elsewhere.

    You two need to start communicating a lot better and be open and honest with each other about what you really want out of the relationship, and you must STOP PLAYING GAMES. Tell the truth, and get the truth from him, and then, if you can't come to an agreement, then go your separate ways. At least then, you'd be doing it for the right reasons.

    And if you want to stay with him, realize that sex is an important part of adult relationships and it's' going to be expected in any long-term relationship. If you need him to be exclusive with you (a VERY reasonable requirement), then ask him to make it official.

    The bottom line is that it is OKAY for you to ask for what you want, and it's okay for him to ask for what he wants. To NOT ask because "you're afraid to lose him" is one of the best ways TO lose him.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • If he knows you want it too and you just haven't had the opportunity then he'll be more understanding. He could just be trying to easy off a little himself to avoid being overly demanding.

    If it's just sex and he's not getting anywhere he'd likely loose interest,

  • Sexuality validates man in a relationship. A normal functioning man cannot be satisfied in a relationship that does not involve an orgasm at some point.

  • Sex is not the only thing but a very important thing in today's relationship. I have seen that many guys and girls too - are so much into sex (as if getting into bed is the only thing right now). Everywhere it is said - we do sex and sex and sex.

    So, if he is the one who likes to have sex with you, will surely gets away if he is not getting it. don't blame him its today's scenerio which has to be blamed for.

    Anyway, there is one good saying - if you can't go further, better stop where you are.

  • As Jackflynn said, sex is important in a relationship. If you both wanna have sex you should just do it and not play games. How about you set the stage and let things happen?

    Of course he gets impatient, especially since you aren't exclusive. I'd think I waste my time if I date someone for weeks and we don't have sex because that does come across as a tease or insult.

    With "waste my time" I do not mean I only wanna have sex but it's an important component of dating.


What Girls Said 3

  • Don't give it up to a guy that isn't committed to you completely ! You don't want to become the "booty call". If he likes you he should have the decency to dedicate his time to you alone and not be chasing other girls. If he wants you and you are committed then go and have sex with him if not I would say no. He may feel like he has you as like "back up girlfriend" or a "FWB" while looking for something that "interest" him more. He could also be getting it on the side but still like you but not wanting to be committed either way I would be careful, you don't want to get your feelings hurt and I't sounds like you have feeling for him. If he leaves you for not having sex then that means he was never serious in the first place. Plus if he is getting some on the side he could get an std. You don't want a std and a broken heart so be careful :D good luck!

  • It just depends on the guy. If he cares for you, then he'll wait. If all he wants is sex, then yeah he'll pull away and probably find an easier girl. I dated my boyfriend for a year and a half before we finally had sex. Been together for 3 years now.

  • Do not loose your virginity to a man who is not willing to commit to you first. That's the mistake I made and I regret that more than anything else in my entire life.

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