Is it true that guys can fall in love with a girl only if there is sex in the relationship?

Bonus Question: Guys if you are in a relationship with a girl who is a virgin & not ready to have sex would you be patient with her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand that you aren't ready for sex, and that's okay. You shouldn't do it until you are ready.

    Having said that, you need to understand that deciding not to have sex, like any other decision, has consequences. The most obvious one is that the majority of guys aren't going to want to date you. You're going to have to seek out the few who are willing to have a sexless relationship, or at least, wait a long period of time before having it. That's going to be MOSTLY very religious guys and a few asexuals.

    You are an adult, and the guys you are going to date are adults. The vast majority of adults of either gender expect sex to be a part of a romantic adult relationship, and for most, if sex is off the table, then so is the romantic part, and you're really just FRIENDS. For most people, there is no point in having a romantic relationship that doesn't include sex; it's like going to out dinner and only being served a glass of water. It's frustrating and pointless to most.

    Again, I'm not telling you to change, I'm telling you not to expect OTHERS to change either. It isn't fair or reasonable for you to expect other people to go without a key portion of a relationship if they clearly don't see it as an optional thing for them. Understand that they are the norm, and you are the exception. So, as an outlier, you have to accept that you have very limited options.

    If I decided that I would only date girls who are 5'4", white with freckles, blue eyes, jet black hair, and 32D bra, well, I am free to make that decision, but I can't really complain when I find that those girls are quite rare and take a ton of time and effort to find. I can either accept that it will be hard work to find them, or I can change my requirements. What I *can't* do is expect girls to transform themselves into my personal ideal somehow, because I can only change myself.

    As far as your bonus question: I would wait up to 6 months for a girl who was a virgin and wasn't ready on Day 1. Is that "being patient"? That's for you to decide. In my opinion, that IS patient, but you might disagree. It's definitely something we would talk a lot about before we even got together, though.


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What Guys Said 11

  • Making love is important for the relationship to grow in unison, but most guys would wait until she is ready, because at the end of the day, having sex is more of a physical connection with women, where with guys, its an expression of how they feel about the individual, so guys will wait and prove their worth of her, if not, then that girl has one hell of a loser as a boyfriend,x

  • Personally, I have to fall in love with the person before I have sex.

    However, there are very few guys out there that are honestly like that, & then there are allot o guys who like to have sex.

    Also, there are allot of guys who have become very attached (but not addicted) to sex. For them, its a biological need. If thy go without sex, then the craving grows. Sorta like smoking.

    But whether or not this is involved with falling in love depends on the guy's value system, & yes there are plenty like this.

  • 1. Is it true that guys can fall in love with a girl only if there is sex in the relationship? - NO

    2. Guys if you are in a relationship with a girl who is a virgin & not ready to have sex would you be patience with her? - YES

  • Sex, or the possibility of sex in the future is a really important part of any romantic relationship. If you want love without sex, get a dog.

    It's harsh, but most guys who fall for a girl want to have sex with her. If that's out of the question for the forseeable future, I fear most will be hurt and wind up moving on regardless of their feelings.

    So what is it you want from the guy? Friendship? If you want more than that but not sex, you may be disappointed.

  • Im not sure if that is true for everyone. I think it depends on how differently someone might make a connection.

    Me personally I think that sex is a part of intimacy and love. It's sharing a part of yourself.

  • No, I can't fall in love with a women if only sex is involved. Would I wait for a woman? Within reason, but, for me, sexual compatibility is a big part of the equation, so this needs to be figured out before the relationship can become more serious.

  • If she was A 25+ year Virgin, yes I would wait.

    If she slept around a lot then, wanted to save herself from sexing me til we get married than Hell No.

  • Clearly guys CAN fall in love without sex, but most won't really stay feeling in love unless they feel sexually desired. If you're sexually rejecting him he has to really, really believe that you want him a lot and so whatever is holding you back is big and genuine. That's why guys will often wait longer for virgins - if a non virgin wants to wait a long time, they'll just feel unwanted.

    All that aside guys who are sexually experienced will rarely fall in love without sex because they'd leave a potential relationship if sex wasn't there before they'd really have had time to fall in love. Inexperienced guys tend to get emotionally caught up with a girl they're barely dating then try to move things forward. More experienced men (and women) tend to date a few people and see who they are compatible with before really getting emotionally attached. So most men would walk away if sexual compatibility didn't seem either there or likely to be there immediately upon being exclusive.

    How long would I wait for a virgin? I might wait a year for actually intercourse but no more then a month on oral or something similar.

  • 1) NO, it's possible for guys who are also virgins, to fall in love without sex. Its very unlikely a guy who is used to having sex in his relationships, would fall in love without it though.

    2) I would be patient.

  • It's not entirely true. Sex is important to any relationship, these days, but it's hardly the MOST important thing. For example, chemistry, attraction, common interests, trust, fidelity, all of which are more important than sex, in the long run. But yes, for a lot of people sex is a strong contender. For a lot of people it's very important, it just is.

    This is not to say that one can't fall in love without sex. To answer your initial question, yes, a guy can fall for a girl without sex. Some of it will certainly be lust, of course, but he can fall for her without having sex with her. I've done it at least twice. Love just kinda happens.

    About your bonus question; Yeah a guy can be patient with a virgin girl. I think smarter guys will know better than to try and force the issue, when it comes to that. I know I personally would wait. I'd be patient. In fact I have. But as for what schmuck-face said,I think he sounds like an idiot. So if she turns out to be bad, then whatever. IT'S HER FIRST TIME. So yeah, I'd be willing to work with that. She'd get better, and if I'm the only one, there's no bad habits to break. So no, nothing to worry about that a little patience can't fix.

    As for you, Purplelove010. Try not to let the jackasses in the world (and this site) discourage you. If you end up with some guy who leaves you for something so stupid as this, or what that previous idiot said, then count yourself lucky that you don't have to see them anymore.

    You'll be alright.

  • Sex is a very intricate and important part of any relationship. I personally couldn't be with someone who doesn't share my sexual interests or have sex as an important piece of our relationship. I don't want to hear that I am just a horny 20 something guy, because I am aware of that. But, your perfect partner should do it for you personality wise, in physical attraction, and sexually. So I could fall in love with a virgin, yes. But, if the sex sucks that's gonna make things tough

    • Why ask a question and then down vote the answers? For ME I think that SEX IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF MY RELATIONSHIP. That's MY opinion.

    • Show All
    • Still doesn't make sense.

    • Just like that psychology book of yours.

What Girls Said 1

  • Sex is important. If he's had it before, I'm kicking his ass to the curb. I want a virgin. And I'm waiting for marriage.

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