Would he judge if I told him?

I'm so depressed, upset, stressed and ashamed about my life. I am a very sensitive person so I think about suicide a lot. My mom and I live in a small apartment, I have no door, the floors, walls etc. are terrible. My mom and I don't get along, she is always telling me to kill myself if I really feel that way. I have been in the mental hospital before for a few days. My confidence and self-esteem is very low. I just feel so worthless and hurt sometimes it's not even funny. I have been talking to this boy for almost 4 years now and we might go out. I have basically been that one girl to be there for him no matter what, his ride or die. I feel so pathetic that I cannot tell him that my mom and I are struggling. I feel like he will judge or look at me differently. I know I shouldn't care about these things but I cannot even... I have just been weak and emotionally crying for the past few months. I'm stressing over a lot, not just this. If you were in his shoes, would you judge me?
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