How do you diffrentiate between those who are in it for other people and those who are only in it for themselves?

I remember going to a prayer meeting and telling the pastor I had 11 psychlogical disorders at the same time from my parents abusing me and he kicked me out of his prayer group because I was asking him to pray for me without doing anything to earn his respect first. He didn't even respect me enough to tell me WHY I was kicked out of his prayer group. I did not find out why until his friend explained his behaviour to me 3 years later out of his volition thinking I needed to know how these people thought. Is it my fault or his fault that he does not respect people who have problems? He belonged to a certain race. This year I ran into two nurses who were hired to take care of their patients and they belonged to the same race as this pastor who kicked me out of their prayer group and they were the same way - they spent 30 minutes chattering with each other during work hours about their babies and their money issues and completely neglected their patients. I'm starting to wonder if this explains the reason some races are more poor then others - because they are only in it for themselves.
How do you diffrentiate between those who are in it for other people and those who are only in it for themselves?
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