I want to be a single mother by choice. Why do so many disagree with what so many black women and I choose to do?


Most of the women who are choosing to be single moms and get pregnant and raise children on their own are black women.









But other races as well are joining in. Especially white women.



My question is why do so many people disagree with this? Especially men?

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What Guys Said 15

  • Because we are scared that we would be relegated to just being sperm donors.

    But truthfully, you have a lot of women who engage in co-dependence. They will give you a lot of hate, on behalf of men.

    As for me, I could care less. Good luck. But accept responsibility for your decisions.

    Not many folks do that in American society nowadays.

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  • The reason is that it's associated with poor outcomes for the kid and welfare dependency. To be fair, when I lived in the US, I knew two well-educated black women who successfully raised kids by themselves (one and two respectively), so outcomes may have more to do with the parenting skill of the individual mother.

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  • I don't agree with a woman having a child out of wedlock. Not fair for the guy. Just makes it look like you wanted to trap the guy to get some free child support money.

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  • Statistics don't lie. They're just computations that don't have an opinion or agenda of their own. There have been many studies done about this issue. The single biggest statistical predictor of whether or not a child will grow up and go to prison is whether or not that child grew up with a mother and a father who were together in a household. Does that mean that all children of single parents go to prison? Of course not. There are lots of exceptions where the single mom does a heroic job. But the numbers are what they are.

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  • Fine, as long as they are willing to pay 100% and not use social services. And willing to keep their kid in line their whole life.

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    • 4d

      And not depend on the grandparents for free babysitting or support.

  • 1) Gross
    2) Skin color has nothing to do with it, at least not in my eyes.

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  • Because it shows the quality of life of your kids will decrease without a father.

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  • Because it is child abuse.

    There are VERY few women who are capable of successfully raising children without a father figure. If you had $10M in invested assets and an M. D., you could probably do it successfully.

    70% of children in poverty today would not be poor if their mothers were to marry their fathers.

    Blacks are about 8 times more likely to commit a violent crime than whites, and that is correlated with the out of wedlock birth rate difference. Even within the same race, those who were born out of wedlock are about 10 times more likely to commit a violent crime than those in a two parent, mother-father household.

    Why would you abuse your own child? Do you want him to go to jail?

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  • aside from the morality of it. because it's just not smart-i don't think people really understand just how difficult is is.

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  • As long as "on your own" doesn't include government assistance like most single moms, I don't care.

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  • Statistics. Science.

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  • Terrible idea to kick the dad out of the picture

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  • Nothing inherently wrong with that.

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  • Just looking at the culture of jealous, inferior hairhats who pump out future felons for government checks. I'd say that everyone who disapproves is exactly right.

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  • Because it's bad for the kid and consequently society.

    It's not just your choice. It affects at least one other person.

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What Girls Said 10

  • I'm completely in support. I think a lot of people don't like it because of various assumptions that they make, but I think that it can be a wonderful decision. My best friend plans on being a single mother.

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  • Well as long as your not tricking some guy and demanding child support and welfare from the taxpayer. I personally believe children need a father in their life and children that grow up without one are lesser for it.

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  • Being a single mom is hard and being a single mom on purpose is stupid. Don’t raise your child without a father because someone did you dirty. Don’t set your child up for failure like that.

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  • Because people hear more stories and statistics about women who are single mothers failing. But they are the ones who didn’t plan on it.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with raising a child by yourself as long as you are smart BEFORE HAND. I’m trying to be a single mother too, and I’m aware that it’s gonna be hard but I’m not stupid.
    Everyone just loves to draw their fears from other stories about some “baby mama drama” and custody and poverty issues.. blah blah blah.
    None of those women took the time to figure out what they were doing. But guess what? We can learn from their mistakes and evolve. You don’t have to be a statistic if you don’t want to.

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  • Being a single mom is very hard!! I was a single mom for several years and wouldn't wished that on anyone its very hard emotionally, mentally, financially.

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  • I don't care about skin color. I care about the statistics against single moms. I guess if they have the means to raise a child without government assistance, it's not as bad to be a single parent. But statistically, children from single moms are more likely to end up in prison, become suicidal, become promiscuous, abuse drugs and substance, drop out of school, etc. Obviously, not every child will end up like this. But this is the greatest predictor. If there were 2 cars, one was historically statistically more likely to end up in a crash, would you allow your kid to enter the crash prone one? No, so I don't know why many women choose a worst start for their kids by being single moms.

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  • Because it is incredibly hard to raise a child on your own, thats the reason why child support exists. Don't you think that you would have to drive the child around everywhere? To school? To the doctor? For a playdate? And imagine trying to fit work in there as well as getting some free time to relax. No way. Also you'd have to work double to make up for the income you're supposed to get from your partner unless you have a really high paying job, which I doubt.
    And whats the results?
    Child neglect because you would be spending so much time at work trying to keep you and your child alive that you would almost never have time to supervise them.
    I respect your decision to become a single mother by choice, but I do highly encourage you to consider the consequences of this before choosing to take on another life for the next 18 of yours.

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  • Children have 2 parents for a reason.

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  • A child needs a mother and father.

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  • As a black woman, don't you feel you are worthy of a loving husband who will support you and your child? Your child is worthy of a father in his life. I made that mistake once in my life I'm very thankful my now husband married me as a single mom. Kids need a father, I'm saying this as a fellow black woman.

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    • 4d

      Don't do it it you will regret it big time!. I thought I was able to do it as a single mom at your age I was so happy just to have someone who will love me unconditionally. If I had known now what I know now, NEVER would I have purposely made a choice to become a single mother... many of these black men without fathers grow up hating black women. Be very careful.

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