Words are awkward here like "control" and "choice" since I think the bulk of our vocabulary and common beliefs are shaped around a rather mystical notion of "free will", as though someone can simply turn into a serial killer out of the blue independent of their upbringing, or mental illnesses, or anything of this sort. I like to think (and hope) that we can study the potential causes behind such behaviors and gain insight that helps minimize such occurrences. But either way, part of the solution as I see it to help prevent people from going down such routes is to teach them to take whatever "control" they can and responsibility for their own lives.
As a less extreme example, if someone says they have such a hard time finding love when they're very passive about this, then I don't think it's all that helpful to improve their odds to just tell them to continue waiting around at home and twiddle their thumbs and wait for Mr/Miss Right to show up at their door. So I'd encourage that they go out there and socialize and so forth. I find philosophies like this very valuable regardless of whether things are predetermined or not (if things are all predetermined, then I'm predetermined to find this philosophy useful and encourage it):"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." -- Viktor Frankl
I like to think of it like this: If I set up a tent at a camp ground but my tent was in a bad spot and some guy, who was not properly accounting for his blind spots, backed over my tent with his car, then that would be both my fault and his fault and not down to fate as we both had a direct hand in making that event come to pass.
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
because we didn’t have the drive to get it
what makes you say that?
Dunno just some points in my life feel like they were meant to happen and then some happened because of choice. So both.