I am exhausted, I have been chasing this dream for 14 years straight. I get one step ahead then two steps backwards. I sacrificed everything in my life to get it. From being in relationships, lost friends, and even lost my jobs and money. I feel like if there is some fairness in this universe, it should work out by now. I am trying my last attempt, I put everything on the line and I am waiting for a decision on an application, this application can make or break my dream. However, I was told that the odds are against me and the pending and the waiting process are unpredictable. I am just tired. I mean I fought for this dream for 14 years, why I can't handle few months?