What race are you?
I've never talked to my mother since. This was almost 20 years ago.
That ex was one of my fondest exes. The only thing that separated us was distance since I had to move across the country after graduation for a job opportunity, and we drifted apart as things became an LDR. Yet I hated my mother because that ex started crying over not being able to meet my mother. I suspected she realized something was up even though I tried not to tell her the full reason why I kept them from meeting each other. I no longer hate my mother but I never bothered to reach out to her since. I'm technically no longer her son according to her words, after all. I'd be receptive if she ever tried to reach out to me, but it's up to her to change her mind as I see it.
Damn dude! I'm so sorry. Does your mom try to reach out to you?
No, never. I did hear from some relatives in the US though that she's very happy lately and has her own group of friends now. That made me feel a bit better since I did feel a bit guilty over the years for not reaching out at all.
She was a Bible-thumping type though and part of this Baptist church that had a racist sort of vibe to it as well as protesting and boycotting Disney products for hiring homosexuals (like a slightly less extreme version of the Westboro Baptist Church). I hated that church even as a boy since it's like we'd have Thanksgiving dinner and the pastor would make racial slurs about black people. I think being biracial, I picked up on these things more and they would piss me off all the time, as well as the protests against homosexuals (which I saw as people who did nothing wrong since I couldn't see how they "chose" to be gay if I never "chose" to be straight).I am not bleeding-heart progressive type though. I'm libertarian. :-D But I did grow a strong distaste for people who generalize about other people based on their race or any other "category" they lump them in over evaluating individuals.
You’re a good man. Your mother sounds very hateful. No offense to you. I know she is still your mother. Hopefully, her heart softens and you can talk to her again. Best wishes!
@Bmalodb Cheers and thanks!
Can I follow you?
@Bmalodb Sure! Followed back.
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I worked in Detroit and Chicago for a while. I've seen PLENTY of black women talk shit because of black men in their family dating white women.
It's a lot to explain but it's because black women are the most unprotected and most disrespected group of people in the USA. It doesn't help that most of us don't come look like the standard of beauty which is white skin and straight hair. It doesn't help that when our men date out, they say the most vile things about black women even though black women are the ones who stay behind and raise them in the household the most. Black women have been dealing with this for centuries with our men so we're frustrated. If black women/people weren't linked with poverty, slavery, and being portrayed and undesirable I can guarantee we wouldn't have these issues in the black community.
I hear all that, but it's still ignorant to say some of the shit I've heard black women say about black men with white women. No one is entitled to be standard of beauty. I myself and many men find black women to be BEAUTIFUL when they don't look ghetto and I would like to be with a black woman who can be proper but the attitudes are unbearable. When most men reject black women it's NOT looks and it's not race, it's the attitude 99% of the time.
no it's looks and attitude. They will put up with the same loud mouth, ratchet behavior from non black women all the time. Just look at cardi and who's she with, beautiful girl but nasty personality. They tell black women they we are too ugly and dark to black women's faces and in their music. Most of it is extreme self hatred, internalized racism, and colorism that black men have against black women majority of the time. Prime example is Serena Williams, they called her ugly, masculine, and all sorts of names then as soon as she got with a white man she became a sellout and bed wench. I'm sorry but a lot of black men hate black women cause they hate their mothers cause their moms made them black. And sense black men and most black people don't own much here in America they take it out on black women sense we are the weaker sex. Most black don't say much when they date out, it's when they start shit talking us and elevating other races of people over their- other races of women/people that don't elevate them as whole.
Let a Spanish chick cuss them and they'll think it's sexyThey don't shit about white feminism and how white women emasculating but let it be black woman that cusses them out them out or be feminist, then it's we got attitudesand black women are too strong and emasculating to... If you don't believe that America and the black man have ruined the image and femininity of black women then you're asleep or simply don't get it. Most people, not even our men can sympathies with us and that's just truth.
Black women aren't stronger than any other group of women and no one thinks latinas being bitches is 'cute'. Black women are at the bottom of almost every statistic in the country and produce the worse population of men. So how are y'all so strong? The only stats where someone is below black women are prison (of which black men are worse), black women have slightly higher education rates than latinas (mainly because a lot of immigrant latinas stay home with kids) and that's about it. Something like 20% of black men have felonies, 33% have some sort of criminal record and STILL they manage to do better than black women. Also I've worked in the finance and the number ONE demographic to fuck up a bank loan, car loan or business investment are black women. Attitude isn't strength, produiction is - that's what white and Asian women learned a long time ago. To win against men you have out produce us, not run your mouth. Asian women are KILLING IT in business and education right now - how? if the world is so against women?"Most people, not even our men can sympathies with us and that's just truth." - because it's not worth it. You're way too prideful and can't be told shit. In terms of literally NEVER BEING WRONG and always winning the argument - American black women are the worst HANDS DOWN. It makes no sense to argue with you and that shit hurts you all more than you want to realize.
I'm sensing you just don't like black people or black women so I highly doubt you want to be with one with one the way you're talking about us as if all us act this. You have not met every single black woman on the face let America. But yes, statically speaking, we are on the bottom in society cause that's how America kept us and have made the entire world view American blacks in that way. It doesn't help that most of the world is anti black and view lighter skin people and those closer to white as better/beautiful. We are not prideful at all, we're not dumb, we're very much aware of dysfunction that goes on in the black community and there are black women currently online trying to help younger black women to no longer continue that dysfunction by letting them know to not make the same mistakes. You said Asian, Asian women are not black women.. the world isn't again Asian, Hispanic, or white women for the most part but they do hold prejudices against black women the most. And you can't be ignorant to how people treat others differently due to race and skintone, there's to many instances and evidence for you to not see people treat us differently when a black woman shoes any kind of emotion-especially anger. If you haven't gone through something other people have then easy to dismiss those people and just call them problematic.
See what I mean? I just told you have a past dating a black woman and hope to god I end up with one in the long run and you say I just dont like black women. This is the shit i"m talking about. It's like it's not worth speaking.
You're not listening either and not understanding yourself. I told we know dysfunction goes on our community but you ignored that. And I'm sorry but I can't take you seriously about wanting a black woman by saying it's not worth it plus you already see us on the bottom anyway. Even if that's statically true, you wouldn't feel or see black women that way anyway.. If we all have attitudes, too prideful, and dysfunctional then I advice you to just stay away from us. People do not compartmentalize for us when one of us does wrong and I didn't expect you do the same either.
"you already see us on the bottom anyway." - I don't see anyone at the bottom. You're not reading OR you're refusing to understand. I said the bottom of statistics. That doesn't mean any one black individual is at the bottom.
Dude I do understand, you just think I don't cause that's how you to perceive it.