Should I move on? Is he worth it? Please please please help me figure my ex out?

Electric_Pink
Hi Beautiful people

This is long but please advise me. I can't deal with this alone in my little head anymore :( Please help me make sense of this.

Last year in April I met my ex…he was d sweetest thing ever, he treated me better than anyone I had met and we had 3 lovely months together before I caught him cheating, he went to meet a girl he had been chatting to on facebook. I confronted him and was heartbroken Because he even met my parents and all my friends. When I asked him if it was over he said yes and he said he was sorry etc. So…for d next month we chatted on and off, he knows me so well, that I'm sensitive and sweet and even when I'm angry there's a smile hidden somewhere inside me.

Anyhoo, at d end of that month my friend introduced me to his good friend and we hit it off..although I knew I was just on d rebound..i gave it a shot. I thought d right thing was to tell my ex I'd move on, which I did…n within a week he came back to me saying he loves me and he wants me back and he will never hurt me again. I was still in love with him and it hurt to be without him so I went back to my ex. All my friends were upset with me and they told me he'll do it again and guess what..he did. After another glorious month together, talking about marriage etc and moving in together this year and how much he loves me and I'm d only woman for him…he told me that he still had feelings for his ex of 10years. He also made me feel like I was not good enough Because he wasn't my first and vice versa. I was broken, devastated..i cried for days :'( I'll never wish that kinda pain and heartache on anyone.

After that we have been communicating and hanging out. He says he loves me and he will always love me but he isn't ready for a relationship. I told him he is lying and he really wants to be with d love of his life which is his ex and he said no I am d love of his life. He admitted that he is immature and also that he enjoys being single and not worrying about d drama of a relationship. He said maybe one day he'll marry me but he isn't ready for a relationship right now and doesn't know where he's headed in life. He started work last year and before that he was in serious relationships and in varsity. He makes up excuses why we can't date again. he says he Doesn't wanna waste my time and I'm too pretty for him. Nonsense, he is extremely good looking and knows it. I'm 26 and he is 25. I can't trust him, everything he says seems to be lies to me, I know he texts random girls he meets and arranges to meet dm, I saw his phone and tells dm d same sweet crap he told me. BUT recently I miss us, I want him back and it hurts so much and I can't move on

Do you think he will grow up and realize that he misses me? How do I get his attention? Is he just messing me around? I love him so much and we both feel we share a connection, but mines is stronger. Id do anything for him to just want me and only me. what should I do…wait..fight..or move on Because as soon as I go MIA he comes looking, reels me in, gets what he wants and dn I miss him. Recently he Doesn't care as much since he see's me often :'( ?
Updates:
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Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me truly loved me, I play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they won't see that, You never let them see you sweat don't want them to think the pain runs deep, Lord know its killin me
Should I move on? Is he worth it? Please please please help me figure my ex out?
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