And im not saying dont believe the victim. I am saying dont destroy someone else, without a trial, without criminal charges pressed.
My biggest issue is that those that push for "believe the victim" Also push for "Abolish due process"
Here's the thing: Whether a victim put themselves there or not, does it change the fact that hte perpetrator is attacking the victim?
Yes, it can. As a domestic abuse victim and a victim of sexual harrassment and unwanted touching. I can safely say it does because when I started making changes I never had those encounters like that again.
You have to understand what makes a perpetrator do what they do in the first place. Because they don't just attack anybody. They actually know who to attack.
There's a reason why they say you are who you attract. And the same rule applies even with violence. I am also a victim of bullying. When I stop allowing myself being a doormat, bullying for me became less and less. It doesn't mean you are solely at fault. But it means that you must be wiser and have self-awareness. When you have that attitude like nobody can control me and tell me what to do, you make yourself a prime target for these people. They love those who act ignorant and arrogant for somebody who's weak. It really all depends on what type of person you are attracting. You can only hope and pray you're not attracting the wrong type. Let your guard down once, do it at the right place at the right time and it's a wrap. You got to remember that you are now living in a world that doesn't give a damn if you're alive or dead. You now got to look out for yourself not just for other people.
I don't think some people are capable of guilt
Valid point. It's terrible.
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I thought it's because they may like the accused in some way. And don't want ot go up against hte accused.
I think that is probably another good explanation.
I suffered in silence
Both have happened to me in different forms
Which was worse and why?
The first. The thing about being wrongly accused perpetrator is I've used my head to stay away from people who would think I'm wrong. But the actual victim and not being believed is like death. Suffering suffering and no one is listening in fact people are blaming you. That's disturbing.
Okay so for example, if someone is a victim of like cheating as an example , is the victim goes completely overboard and tells people "he ruined my life" or just generally being over dramatic it's harder to believe because then it just likes the person is attention seeking or trying to get people on their side for the sake of hurting the other person, whereas if the victim just states clearly what happened and let's their friends choose if they wanna ask or talk about it then it's easier to believe that they are a victim rather than an attention seeker.
here's the thing: If most countries legal system have an 'innocent until proven guilty' approach, that means both the victim AND the perpetrator's sides of the story are heard. Not believing one of the other goes against the legal system. ANd if the legal system highly intelligent people lawyers and judges and everyone under the sun don't have the authority to choose sides-why do you?
belief has no relevance to the legal system because you cannot stop what a person is thinking inside of their head. What if the jury consists of three women who were raped in the past? or a man falsely accused of a crime by a scorned ex? if you believe a victim then it is not innocent until proven guilty, it is the exact opposite. ''ANd if the legal system highly intelligent people lawyers and judges and everyone under the sun don't have the authority to choose sides-why do you? ''you just answered your own question.
No I didn't. It is one thing to gently tell a victim that the reason they cannot be believed is lack of evidence. It is another to say that hey I don't believe you
your question is worded as ''Why don't people believe victims?'' because in some cases, skeptics do not take sides. Not believing in a victim does not mean that you will indefinitely, never believe in a women, it simply means that you dont for a multitude of different reason. My perspective is, I dont believe anybody until I see it with my own eyes, whether the accused attacker or victim. let me get some footage, otherwise i am just going off of he said and she said, which is not reliable.
sorry, i left out one part, I was trying to give you an example of the ''believewomen'' trend that was going around.
Ah-but see this is the key thing that you've noted. When people don't believe, it's not a case of 'this is what's missing for us to believe your story.' There is a sense of 'I'm God. I know what happened,' going on here. As in, they don't WANT to hear the person out.
I'm not against hearing a person out nor insensitive to what happened to them. I'm just saying in the court of law, what matters is evidence evidence or eye witnesses, not what he or she said.
I digress. You know I believe, honestly, that if a situation has taken place, even if it's verbal, they have to investigate it if it's true. So your job is to tell the truth. Where things get murky is the element of blackmail.
Ah but see this is the thing-I used to think paranoidly that mayb the people I am trying to tell know the perpetrators. And used to conclude they're protecting the perpetrators.
Victims in general You mean that a lot of rapists get away with it or the opposite? That it rarely happens they get away with it
Most rapists get away with it. Simply bc women don’t report it out of embarrassment, stigma, like you say, not being believed. And then on top of that, men are more likely to be in positions of power and sympathize, give rapists more relaxed consequences. I think metoo has changed that tho.
The truth is not believable?
Most people are unable to distinguish what's true and not.
THen most peoplea re idiots
Nope. Look it up a lot of the time unfortunately victm is not believed