Am I too hard on men? And am I too hard on "Black" men especially?

[Iceseeyou25]

I gave black men money on the street before. Hell, even offered money to dudes. I kinda resent giving money to black men because black women are pressured to be strong, independent, and I've had several black guys on and in person say they'd never date a poor black women, let alone give a black female panhandler money. Unless the black man looks elderly will I give now. I've seen way too many black men refuse to give or provide to black women but break their necks for white women or other black men.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think in both videos it went to people that judge a book by the cover without knowing the full story.
In the first video, people see a man they feel should be capable of working providing for himself verses a young kid incapable of providing for himself...
And in the second video they black man looks younger so again there's the assumption he should be able to work and provide for himself while the white man appeared older so less likely to be able to do so... I really don't think it was a race thing...
I stopped giving money because a lot of times it was really for them to get drugs or alcohol. I've seen where people went and bought actual food for the people and they didn't want the food, they wanted the money and were rude about it... I feel bad for anyone really homeless and really struggling and if people can afford to help, I think it's great when they do. But some people maybe can't afford to because they just may be struggling themselves.

[The_unknown_memer]

I don't trust any of those YouTube videos man but if it is real , she needs to be charged for harassment.

Any who yes we are definitely hard on men especially black men. It's called a combination of racism and sexism.

[monkeynutts]

Yeah leave the black fellas alone. When I was in the states I gave money to black fellas.

[lightbulb27]

This is a big issue I've noticed... women and children get resources. Men... they are supposed to suck it up and deal with the pain and "man up". The resources to support men are... lax. Something I've wanted to delve into addressing. Men need support, but are more difficult. I've tried small groups at church, not easy with men. women... easier.

Very generous of you to help them and clearly, you have a heart for humanity. Sounds like there is/was something within you projecting a bias onto those men... assumptions, expectations? We all have them. Caution... I likely contracted covid-19 this same way, be careful on your exposure. Covid-19 took me down.

I think we all have biases. I think when your question becomes flipped to... "Do you think Im too loving and enabling...", that's a different take. It's the flip side. I've been on both sides. I really think the answer here is we love people regardless but with an intent and effort to not enable, but to SET THEM FREE so they can live their lives, vs be trapped by the pitfalls they've fallen into.

Most recently, I've given water to a broken down homeless man (black), food to a homeless woman (mixed).. food, clothes and supplies for a homeless woman (older white), a homeless man (black). The older white woman I asked neighbors to contribute to and I had over 100 responses to help them. I asked for the black man, I got something, but less. There's always people with a heart, and others with bias. The processing is sub conscious and fast. I still got him multiple bags of clothes and supplies for his family. Tried to offer him work but... he was avoidant. So no way to know who is being. I note color but it isn't color driving this, it's perception. I've denied a bunch of white homeless men due to lack of trust. That be my biggest hangup.

Homeless is a real challenge, they are all different and functioning off the basic needs.
This is one of the greatest tragedies of our society (USA) that we have so many people who are without basic needs, including children. Thus...

Consider pulling resources from your community to help homeless, many others will give. If you do that, you'll find yourself in a new role as assistant to the homeless. I advertised through nextdoor and got an outpouring.

[purplepoppy]

It's understandable that someone living on the streets will use drink or drugs to blot out their existence. Mentally It's a lot easier to get through a night if your wasted. If you want to give money then it's best to donate to local charities that are trying to help them get back on their feet

[Anonymous]

Good to see you recognize your biases.