Most Helpful Girl
Most of those would be funny, entertaining, or things I would actually enjoy (the origami kit). Some are a little too weird for me (boyfriend pillow), or irrelevant (bald head wipes). But the stuff like the tongue scrapers, underwear for two, or anus chocolates would crack me up, as long as they were given as a joke.
However, the fake engagement ring and gym membership would upset me. I'm not overweight, but I'd still find a gym membership a thoughtless and insulting gift. And while I'm not necessarily hankering for a commitment right now, the fake engagement ring is just cruel. Save that one for revenge breakups with girls who cheated on you or something.
Most Helpful Guy
To me, this is how you can troll your significant other with these kind of gifts on Valentine's Day, especially if you plan on breaking up soon anyway. Because, why not? If not, then don't do it!