On Sunday, we got back from an amazing weekend together. I asked him if I could come to him on valentine’s eve to spend the night together (he studies in a different city). He said it would be a busy day because he would be working on his paper, so that he would come to me on Thursday. Fair enough.
Today, I texted him to ask how his day was an what his plans were. He told me that later tonight, he might go out to dinner with an old friend of him, Lauren (female, never met her). She asked him to, because he helped her writing a paper a year ago. He told me he was still hesitating, because he was low in time.
A little recap of our conversation through text:
me: that’s weird, I thought you didn’t have enough time tonight.
he: that’s what I said.
Me:but you’re still hesitating on going?
He:damn babe, jealous much?
And yes I’m thinking about it because it would cost me the same amount of time as cooking for myself. It all depends on how much progress I’m making tonight.
Me: I wouldn’t like it if you planned something with another girl even though you told me that tonight would be too busy to meet up. Has nothing to do with jealousy, that’s just unfair.
Him: Ok I will cancell it. No problem.
me: Do you understand why that feels wrong to me?
Him: damn babe, you sound condenscending. My action should have showed you I understand already.
No need to turn this into a learning experience for me, Iike I’m a 5-yo. In stead of saying ‘thanks I feel better with that decision. ‘
Me: I see you as an equal and didn't want to turn this into a condenscending remark. But it’s important for me to know if you just cancelled the plans to avoid an argument, or that you really understand my point.
I’m seeing him tommorrownight, what should I do? Or what do you all think? Was this a condenscending remark?
Most Helpful Guy
Let him know how much consideration he was lacking. Tell him, "if you felt I was being condescending it's cause you know exactly what the issue was that I was addressing."
You throw a bone your dog is supposed to catch it. That's just semantics. He's not a dog. But he's still to catch that bone and determine what's of it. A possibility was there, he didn't give possibility a chance. That's his error his issue. Not your problem, not a problem.
Let him know you're beyond it but hope he will be more considerate next time.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
He TOLD you what he was planning? That was wrong of him. Very wrong!
He should have asked, instead, if it was OK. Even better, he should have asked YOU to dinner. It would not have taken up any more time. If he had to work, then at least you could have had the night together.
I think he has treated you very badly!1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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