My boyfriend did nothing for Valentine's day. Should I be mad?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and have a 4 month old daughter together. He has been working a lot this past month, and I assumed he'd forget. I messaged him this morning saying Happy Valentine's Day, so that if he forgot he could pick up a card or chocolate after work. I had cooked him dinner, dessert, cleaned, and got him a very nice card and his favorite chocolate. He gave me nothing. Didn't even try to say he forgot. He acted as if this is normal. Should i be mad?

Yes

No

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Answer 1

mrfoox

Influencer

I can't really say. I think it's nothing unusual to feel at least annoyed by something like this but also... We all do things for our partners and we won't always be repaid.
His love language may be much different from your own. I used to have a girlfriend who showed affection by giving gifts, while my own way of showing affection is more word/action wise. If you want to celebrate these kind of holidays with your partner, be sure to discuss it with them beforehand. I live in a country where valentines day isn't a big deal, so I almost always forget about it unless someone reminds me. By discussing how your partner usually express their affection, how they feel about different days like these etc, you'll get a much better idea of what they celebrate or don't celebrate.
Sometimes we give 90% while our partner barely gives 10%, it's just how it is. However, if you always give 120% and them 0% regularly, then I think something needs to change.

Answer 2

jennifer_bloom | 62 opinions shared on Valentine's Day topic.

Influencer

I guess some guys need to be trained - I’ve never been good at training people and it’s messed up some friendships and flirtation relationships - tell him if he doesn’t buy you an expensive post valentine gift you will withhold sex and make him do his own laundry and refuse to cook and clean when his friends come over.

Answer 3

SteveSmith1985

Influencer

Yes. I'd say you have every right to be mad!

This is coming from a guy who, generally hates Valentine's day (Ilove love though). It doesn't sound to me like you expected much AT ALL. Sounds to me like you would have been perfectly happy... with the most BASIC of acknowledgement that it was Valentines day, and that you're special to him.

As much as I might hate Valentine's day, and it's pressures and expectations... I would never ever EVER do nothing for my girlfriend for valentines day. there's really no excuse for that. Especially since you REMINDED HIM. Yes. You go right ahead and be mad. You've got good reason to be!

Sorry you didn't have a better Valentine's day. :)

Answer 4

ZackBan

Yoda

He could have genuinely forgot even after you told him but chances are slim. You have a right to be mad, but think of the 4 months old kid. Breaking up with him over a stupid holiday is a bad idea but you need to make him feel that he messed up