Caren-Field

People love to pretend. We pretend all sorts of things like knowing what we're talking about and knowing what we're doing, like knowing what happened in the past and knowing what's going to happen in the future. We pretend things don't bother us, when they do. We pretend we aren't late, when we...

I call it The Crazy Math. It's what we do whenever something happens and we take that thing and we add to it a slew of ideas we have about it and we interpret what we think that thing means. For instance, a man once told me he was a terrible husband. I asked, “ Why are you a terrible husband? ”...

People love being a victim. I'm NOT talking about being a victim of a crime or an accident. I'm also not saying that people aren't victims, because crimes happen, accidents happen, and bad things do happen. In those moments, when the car crashes, when someone gets robbed, or abused, or when...

P eople look out for themselves. We first look out for our own interests, as in what's in it for me ? This is our automatic, animalistic, reflexive, hair-trigger response; it's usually not done out of conscious choice. But what's worse? It's antagonistic nature causes others to get triggered as...

People have blind spots: places we can't see. Something might be there, but since it is just outside our view, we don't notice it, often times until someone points it out to us. Take expectations for example. We swim in an ocean of expectations and we don't even notice they are there. An...

People often think anger is so bad they don't feel safe exhibiting it, so they will pretend that they don't have such emotions. When discussing my eBook, 7 Steps on the Path to Partnership , with clients I notice a lot of people get to the step on anger and then comment, “I don't have to work...

On Being Defensive People often have short fuses. Maybe it's because we are over-worked and under-rested, over-stimulated and under pressure. Maybe it's because we take things personally that aren't personal. Maybe it's something else entirely. For what ever reason, we tend to get defensive, a...