Search Results: spanking a child

My father had his moment when he was a total jerk and sometimes inconsistent. I don't call hitting with a belt or hands in frustration/anger spanking; I call it hitting. To me hitting is hitting. Some trivial things, I got hit and when I was once suspended in 8th grade for 5 days, I was immediately forgiven and even excused.

Moments he was a jerk:
2nd - 3rd grade: hit with a belt in frustration and anger for not getting the right answer to math homeworks on time or not being a fast learner. Another time it was for not learning how to use the ruler properly nor measure inches in a math problem.

5th grade: chased (well obviously a kid is going to run too; do you expect them to stay still and like getting hit with a belt) and locked myself in the bathroom for an hour or so. All that for not knowing how to properly operate a remote control as he was ''trying to teach'' me but got very impatient by the 3rd explanation and I ran fast as soon as he showed up with a leather belt. Then he had the nerves to ground me (that was his secondary option if he didn't get to use the belt) and nearly cancel my 11th b-day... as if I had done something wrong. Till this day I can't understand what I did wrong in not learning fast.

Threatened to be hit with a belt:
Both times in my freshman year of HS. One for losing a golden bracelet my political aunt had given me on my birthday. Last he ever threatened to use that (one month before my 15th b-day), he gave me some money to spend it and I bought a new pair of jeans with it. I didn't know this was going to make him furious, so once again I locked myself in the bathroom and my mother had to calm him down.

What I learned:
- Absolutely nothing
- Not to do that to a child if I ever had kids
- How scary a man in his full rage can turned; that contradicts his protective instinct because how is he (esp your own father) protecting you if he's hitting you with a belt or threatening to use it
- Have an increasing desire towards finding a mild tempered man that's against hitting a child (that we're on the same page)

Though I came from an hispanic family, I turned against that method long ago. I will not be using that if I ever had a child. And a belt or plastic stick is definitely a NO NO. Yelling in anger or frustration is a NO NO too.

I would like to find a man that's on the same page on this topic. I don't think there would be a compromise if I'm against it and he's totally in favor of it. The child would probably grow up confused. But it seems that it's easier to find a woman that doesn't believe in spanking a child than a man.

Someone once told me that those guys are rare because they're a bit feminine or soft types.

Unless I were selecting a partner that shares my same views on no spanking, it's not of my business what other parents choose. If someone asks for an opinion whether I favor it or not, I would state that no I don't and that I think there are other ways of teaching a child other than using your hand or object to hit and leave it at that.

However, I noticed that vice-versa that have been pro-spankers that tried to convince others to convert into them and making it sound like their methods is the best one ever or making comments such as ''this is what every single child needs'' all the way to saying that if we don't spank the child will grow up to be a criminal.

Then if there is something else I've noticed (hope it's not true but I've seen it) is there have been several posts from pro-spankers that contained slang language or a couple of them whose grammar was abysmal or sounded ghetto.

I've decided that this would be my new deal-breaker and have my own personal reasons I don't really care to discuss. Personally, I don't believe in that form of parenting method nor slapping a child in the face for only words but whatever suits you.

I don't think there is any way I would be able to continue to date a man that favors that. Sure... I don't want kids but what if I see him spanking a newphew of his or small child and I don't like it nor want to see that? I would be basically powerless in that situation.