Search Results: overprotective guy friend

My boyfriend and I have been together for some years now, on and off. I currently live in Japan, and he is living in America. I got a job in Japan and moved out here last year; he was here visiting me for a few months and will be coming back this August to work in Japan as well.

While we both love each other and generally do well together, there is something that has been really bothering me in the relationship. My boyfriend ALWAYS gets upset/depressed when I go out with my friends. I don't drink, so normally my friends and I grab a bite to eat in town for an hour or two before heading home. My boyfriend knows the guys/girls I hang out with and likes them as well; yet, he gets upset when I go out with them. Some of the reasons include:

1. Guys. Even though he knows that I am not interested in the slightest, and even though he knows that one of the guys I hang out with has a girlfriend/fiance, he is still overly jealous. I have never cheated, and he never has either, but I feel he is overprotective of me.

2. Not staying home to talk to him - Yeah, the time difference is a bit of a pain and since we're so far away from each other, we can't really DO anything together. But we talk every day while I'm at work, and I usually try to talk to him every day when I get home (I stay in on the wkends too). However, when I tell him IN ADVANCE that I am going to go out with X, Y, and Z on Wednesday (or whatever), he gets upset/depressed, saying that I'm giving up time that could be spent talking to him. Then he'll say things like "I would never talk to other people and put you second; I would always put you first." Which...isn't fair. He doesn't have many friends to begin with, so of course he wouldn't go hang out with them over talking to me. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with my wanting to hang out with someone MORE THAN talk to him; I just want to maintain my other friendships, too.

3. He says I don't care as much as he does. This really pisses me off. I have stuck by his side and helped him out for years when no one else cared. I do the best I can to send him messages throughout the day reminding him how much I love him and how I can't wait until he's here. And he has the nerve to say I don't care? He says I don't get sad that we can't see each other, or I don't seem bothered, but I am! I just try to remain positive and don't show my sadness so much. Yet, when I explained that to him, he said I should show it more so he can tell I care.

I don't know if this is normal. I want to hang out with my friends and explore Japan while I'm here, but I find myself having to lie about going out, or having to ask permission from him. I'm always nervous when I make plans with my friends, thinking "What is he going to say/How is he going to react?"

Is this normal? Is this a controlling relationship? I can't tell; it's different, I want to say, because we live in two different countries and are so far apart.

Any thoughts/opinions?